Pat,

You said,

I've been experiencing anxiety and depression for a while now, and I tried
to ignore it, but it seems to be getting worse. I can't handle loosing Mom.

You are 100 percent correct.  You cannot handle losing your mom.  Jesus does
not expect you to handle it.  This is why the anxiety and depression seems
to be getting worse.  You are attempting to take on a responsibility that no
one on earth can and that's embracing the loss of a loved one.  No human on
earth is made to face that much.

First, Jesus has already done this for you.  Secondly, He will carry the
load with you.  When the time comes, it will be painful.  That is normal.
Don't try and be tough and brave.  Just be yourself.  Cry until you can't
cry and when you are done, Jesus will still be helping you carry the load.
Thirdly, Your mother's life, or death, is not your responsibility.  that
belongs only to the Lord.  You cannot carry that responsibility because it
is impossible.  There is nothing wrong, or abnormal, about being sad,
sorrowful, and feeling the pain of grief.  Love does that to all of us.
What is going on in your mother's life right now isn't your fault either.
Don't let the Enemy lie to you about that.  My mom was 80 when she died
three years ago.  Even after her death, the Enemy will sometimes try and get
me to think I could have done something more for her.  Jesus told me one
day, that was none of my business, that is, her life and how she died.
Death and life are the two most personal things between a person and the
Creator of all things.  don't allow yourself to be trapped by you could have
done more.  Grief is normal and the fear of loss of a loved one is normal.
When you need help, you know how to reach me.  If I can't talk or pray at
the time you call, I'll make a time we can get together on the phone.  You
are not alone; not by a long shot.  Let others help you.  That is what we
are hear for.  Finally, lean on Vernon all you have to.  Why?  Because, he
loves you and God gave him to you.  Vernon will never let you down.  He is a
tough man and this is the time that character really helps so don't isolate
yourself because you think you are being a burden.

Phil.