oh....
--- Deri James <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Not so funny!!
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> Humans originally existed as members of small bands
> of nomadic
> hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the
> mountains during the summer
> and would go to the coast and live on fish and
> lobster in the winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were
> the invention of beer
> and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was
> invented to get man to the
> beer. These were the foundation of modern
> civilization and together were
> the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
> distinct subgroups:
>
>
> 1. Liberals
> 2. Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that
> was the beginning of
> agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum
> can were invented yet, so
> while our early humans were sitting around waiting
> for them to be invented,
> they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
> villages were formed.
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing
> animals to B-B-Q at night
> while they were drinking beer. Their favourite
> hunting method was to burn the
> prairie and wait for woolly mamoths to stampede off
> the cliffs. This was the
> beginning of what is known as the Conservative
> movement.
>
> Other men realised that if you cared for the
> environment, looked after your
> animals, and planted fields, you did not have to
> chase over miles of prairie
> to kill dangerous animals for food, the food was
> right on your doorstep. This
> was the start of the Liberal Movement.
>
> Although the fierce hunters enjoyed their life, it
> was lonely, days away from
> their women, having to go further and further to
> find a bit of prairie they
> hadn't burned. But this was the way their
> forefathers lived - this was "the
> Conservative way".
>
> Meanwhile the liberal farmers soon discovered that
> if they all worked together
> and cooperated with each other, each specialising in
> things they were good
> at, they could provide more than enough food for the
> whole community. There
> was a surplus, they could start to do art, music,
> dance. If one of their
> community became sick or old, there was enough food
> for them to be looked
> after. They chose a donkey as a symbol to show that
> even the lowliest &
> dumbest creature was an important integral part of
> the community.
>
> A hunter who became injured or too old to hunt lost
> status, he either had to
> beg for food, or sacrifice himself as bait to a
> sabre tooth tiger so that the
> clan could kill the tiger. He would then be revered
> as a "hero".
>
> Of course, eventually all the prairie had been
> destroyed and the last woolly
> mammoth was killed, the proud hunters had to join
> the liberals. You would be
> wrong if you thought that was the end of the
> Conservatives, no, you can still
> see them, they're the ones who say "Why should I pay
> taxes to anyone
> else.", "Right to bear arms", "Survival of the
> fittest", "Clan/family/country
> comes first - fiddle sticks to the rest.", whilst
> benefitting from a world
> where only cooperation, altruism, and consideration
> is the only successful
> pattern for long term survival. Oh, and they still
> hanker after the woolly
> mammoth, but since they killed them all, the
> elephant is the closest thing.
>
> Cheers
>
> Deri
>
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