Hi Brad and Everyone,

Yes, Joy does come in the morning. Brad, you know that song "Trading my
Sorrows"? Well, the first time I heard it was when you sang it on E-Voice
in our little EChurch group.

I've heard it many times since then, but in my opinion, no one sings like
you do. I liked your version of it much better.

Thanks for sharing.

Love and Blessings,
Pat Ferguson

At 11:16 AM 1/2/2006, you wrote:
>Joy comes in the morning... reminds me of "Trading My Sorrows" song. That
>is a great song.
>
>Brad
>
>
>
>At 11:58 AM 1/2/2006 -0500, you wrote:
> >Perhaps He too sees us as we play out the book of our lives, and wonders
> >why we spend so much time on the woe is me chapter, if we would only
> >continue on, we would find the Joy Comes In The Morning chapter.  Ah, the
> >patience of our Father!!!
> >
> >
> >-----Original Message-----
> >From: Echurch-USA The Electronic Church
> >[mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of MV
> >Sent: Monday, January 02, 2006 10:56 AM
> >To: [log in to unmask]
> >Subject: Re: when someone you love is depressed!
> >
> >Good analogy, the table of contents. God must get bored yawning and filing
> >his fingernails as we are down here... "Hey! Watch me do another
> >summersalt" for the 100th time.
> >
> >Brad
> >.
> >
> >
> >At 10:33 PM 1/1/2006 -0500, you wrote:
> > >I appreciate so much you sharing from your own life, thank you.
> > >I have met some of those tough "can do it all by myself thank you very
> > >much!" people, my goodness, but their stress level must be off the charts.
> > >Life is a process, and it has different chapters just like a classic
> novel,
> > >don't you wish we could jst go to the chapter we wanted by look in the
> >table
> > >of contents?  But think, of all we would miss learning, I am sure God was
> > >just as surprised as I when He heard me say "Thank You, for all the
> trouble
> > >we had in our marriage, for moving away to Pa, because if those things had
> > >never happened, I would never have learned to value my relationship with
> > >you, I would have never learned to value the man I call my husband, I
> would
> > >have never learned what it means to forgive hurts, and be forgiven!!!
> >Truly,
> > >all things have worked out for good! Though I had serious doubts they ever
> > >would.
> > >
> > >Rhonda
> > >
> > >-----Original Message-----
> > >From: Echurch-USA The Electronic Church
> > >[mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of MV
> > >Sent: Sunday, January 01, 2006 7:15 PM
> > >To: [log in to unmask]
> > >Subject: Re: when someone you love is depressed!
> > >
> > >Rhonda,
> > >
> > >I've been trying to keep up with email but fear I missed  some of this
> > >thread. From what I did get to read Ben is having difficulty with
> > >depression due to perhaps unworthiness and etc. due to the affects of
> > >diabetes.   A fair warning, this is a bit of a long post so your choice to
> > >continue, the delete button is the lower left hand corner of what is
> called
> > >the "six pack" keys, or CTRL D in some programs lol. As I've mentioned
> > >before, Ben is welcome anytime to contact me if nothing else to bend an
> > >ear. Back in 1990  the affects of Retinitus Pigmentosa began to
> encroach my
> > >life. I was in a family business with full  intentions on one day
> taking it
> > >over. What kind of person was I? Well I wasn't a born again Christian back
> > >then for sure. I was a very visual person, considered myself a very
> > >independent person as well. I loved to drive here and there and was never
> > >home. I once hopped in my pickup truck at a whim when I was like 18 or 19,
> > >got up at 2:00 in the morning and drove 275 miles to Milwaukee for
> > >something to do, picked up some Danish or some dumb thing like that,
> bummed
> > >around a little bit, and headed back home. I was the guy  who if I
> > >explained something to you, it was with a sketch pad often times. I very
> > >much loved to look at  dusking skies and all their images I could see in
> > >them. I could just sit in a public place and watch people, their reactions
> > >and behaviors and wonder what they were about. I relied on my vision for
> > >work, for eye contact without a word being said, it was so very important
> > >to me. I was the type of person who knew what I knew, and what I knew no
> > >one was talking me out of it. I was very secure, very independent, still
> > >somewhat sensitive but not as much as now having  lived through a life
> > >change. Was I happy? Yep, very easy going, not too vengeful, pretty
> > >happy-go-lucky guy but as I said very secure in my own thoughts, decisions
> > >and in dependency. I knew I was having vision issues for a few years but
> > >yet maintained  my "wholeness" , that being independence and etc. I
> > >remember our family business slowing down, I was going through a different
> > >time of life and decided to leave it and get a job at a local factory. I
> > >applied for the job, they informed me it was not a fun job, it wasn't a
> > >likeable job, and that most people quit shortly after trying it. The job
> > >was basically  two things. Service a large machine and when I wasn't going
> > >to be doing that, I was to stand in a hot pit of sand and beat the
> slag off
> > >of large cast parts that came fresh out of the cast molds. The sand was
> > >there to help keep the area cool as the parts were extremely hot. Well,
> > >they showed me the room in which this machine I was to service had filled
> > >and it was basically  a large room with a large machine in it and one,
> only
> > >one mind you, one bare light bulb dangling over the top of the large
> > >machine. This machine was probably the size of a car for some reference
> > >point.  I walked out of that room and told the guy there was no way I
> could
> > >do that job due to vision problems I was experiencing in low lit areas. Of
> > >course he laughed and thought I was giving him a line and basically
> said...
> > >"I knew you would quit when you heard about the job". I even tried truck
> > >driving for my father-in-law, full well knowing I had vision issues at
> > >night, but felt I was safe to drive yet at that point. I found out
> > >different when I nearly drove a rig carrying 48,000 pounds of cast steel
> > >over an off-ramp. I had the wheels  up off the curb, cab bouncing around,
> > >buzzers going off and with nothing but darkness in front of me and not
> > >knowing which way to turn the wheel, yet knowing I had to turn the
> wheel, I
> > >cranked it to the right and popped back on the ramp and stopped that thing
> > >in a beaded sweat. I pulled off to the truck stop I was headed to and
> > >waited until morning and finished the trip, delivered my load, made the
> > >trip back home and quit. It was basically at that point I knew I needed to
> > >see a doctor about my vision. He suggested I file for SSDI as I was less
> > >than 10% radius in my vision. I remember asking myself. What now? How am I
> > >going to provide for my family. We just were in the process of buying a
> > >house, and our first brand new car, I had one kid about five and the
> > >other  just about four. My wife had been working on and off, and also had
> > >gone to cosmetology school along in there and was working at a JC
> Penny's I
> > >believe. Nonetheless we didn't have the bucks to make ends meet. I had
> > >unemployment benefits because it was winter time and I couldn't work back
> > >in the family business if I wanted to,  and we waited for an answer from
> > >Social Security. Meanwhile our bills piled up. I remember two legal sized
> > >pads of bills. One was full the other half to three quarters. We still
> owed
> > >for our daughter's birth, we had no insurance at the time, and my
> son's had
> > >some minor complications but we did have insurance but yet a deductible to
> > >meet and etc. I locked myself up in my room with my guitar and my first
> > >computer for months on end. People would come to visit and I wouldn't even
> > >come out of my little room/office. I wasn't happy, I was afraid, I felt I
> > >was dependent upon others, I could still see to read and etc., but I
> > >couldn't drive. I became Mister Mom as my wife continued to work and had
> > >need to change her work for better pay and benefits I no longer carried.
> > >Who was I now, is what I wondered. I was not happy, I saw no future, I
> > >envisioned difficulty, I wondered what good was I to anyone, why live a
> > >miserable worthless life? And yet in all of that I still  didn't realize
> > >full well what blindness meant as I could still see for many day to day
> > >tasks, I guess God knew I couldn't handle seeing the full picture, as it
> > >were. .  Finally with interest in my new computer, and computers being on
> > >the rise in homes, I decided I wanted to be a Micro Computer Specialist. I
> > >checked into the education and etc. and then someone  in the blindness
> > >fieled where I applied for a grant pointed out, "How are you going to do
> > >your job when your vision gets worse?". I still didn't have a clue as to
> > >the fact in my situation, visually I'd get worse. I then decided to attend
> > >a blindness training program in Minnesota. This was one of the, if not ,
> > >"the" best things I ever did to help myself in that area. I learned things
> > >which although I had no use for them at the time such as cane travel,
> > >Braille,  and etc., I would come to have them at my disposal when needed.
> > >At this juncture I was lifting weights pretty vigorously trying to keep in
> > >shape and was doing a pretty fair job of it actually. Oh, and to attend
> > >this blindness training? I had to take up residency from Wisconsin to
> > >Minnesota, and leave my young family six hours drive away from me for six
> > >months. They came and visited, but I remember  being on my knees crying
> > >like a baby leaning against a multi-colored couch in the apartment I was
> > >staying in as they drove off for home. I knew my kids  didn't understand
> > >why I needed to be gone, and my wife, as much as we had some issues
> with my
> > >"situational depression" as I call it, and her soon to be diagnosed
> > >"clinical depression", I knew she was quite broken up having to  drive
> home
> > >without me. That was probably  the last one, of my bottom dips, in my
> > >blindness. Yet at that time I knew I was ultimately on my way up as I was
> > >very  confident in my new found training to help me live independently.
> > >Since then I have successfully ran a vending business, twice in
> > >fact,  having given it up once for a three year stint in Texas, where
> I did
> > >not find work. I could have had one job but deemed it a bad deal for
> > >various reasons I'll not elaborate on, and oh yes I did telemarketing for
> > >two weeks, until I literally could no longer get myself to dial the phone
> > >for condemnation in going against what I believed in. I do not like
> > >telemarketers and here I was doing what I did not believe in, and in fact
> > >it was a deceptive practice or guise in which we called so I gave it up
> > >despite the $50 I made in two weeks lol. That tells you how good I was at
> > >it.  Oh I did as well do some transcription for our church there as our
> > >pastor was planning on embarking on a writing project and would use it as
> > >the foundation.  I could have gone to school in Texas but for varying
> > >reasons decided against it and soon after I felt God telling me to return
> > >to vending, and in fact I was able to return to the very same route I
> > >started in here in Wisconsin. Could I have had other options? Yes, but I
> > >decided against them,  not because I couldn't do them.    I, now, am
> > >praying and considering yet other options, but that is another story. The
> > >point being, Kathy is right, we ought be afforded a time to grieve, we
> have
> > >losses and yes we ought have time to grieve those losses. Should we stay
> > >there an over extended time? No. Does it help to have someone else to talk
> > >to at that time? I don't know, I didn't have anyone I knew that was in
> that
> > >situation back then. I  had a blind uncle who did some things, but I
> wasn't
> > >in contact with him much and to be honest for other reasons I didn't feel
> > >he would make a very good role model. Looking back yes I would have
> > >probably appreciated someone to bend an ear with that had gone through
> > >such. I guess that is what I found at the blindness learning center,
> others
> > >who were going through what I was, and others who had successfully  gone
> > >through it and were managing their lives despite blindness. Those
> which had
> > >a handle on life and themselves and got on with things. That was inspiring
> > >to me. It is very natural for men especially, and now days a growing
> number
> > >of women as they embark on their own careers and etc. to identify
> > >themselves with what they do for a living. Without that we tend to feel as
> > >though we are somehow less of a person. None of us chose to be blind, it
> > >isn't something we did, or a lack of what we did that has put us  in that
> > >juncture in life. We can choose however to let it roll over us or grab it
> > >by the legs and toss it over and tie it like a roped calf. I certainly
> > >didn't feel like doing that back in 1990 though. But I did after I saw the
> > >potential I could be despite blindness. Ben has an absolute fantastic role
> > >model of a successful blind person living right under his roof in his
> wife.
> > >A woman of godly faith, faith in her husband who she is obviusly head over
> > >heels in love with, is very personable, socially outgoing, not afraid
> to be
> > >involved with  group activities, is attending college for crying out loud
> > >as a non-traditional student" as they call us mature folks who return to
> > >school, and has proven to be a supportive and loving mother. While  it is
> > >true that a prophet has little honor in his own home town or family, as
> > >Jesus said, that however does not mean reason for honor does not
> exist. And
> > >it would do well for that town or family to see the example of success
> that
> > >exists. I'll be honest, I appreciate and know the value of having a
> sighted
> > >spouse, albeit I know I could manage without, and yet there are times I
> > >know as well it would be much more comforting having a blind spouse
> knowing
> > >that my spouse knows what I go through at times and could identify
> with me.
> > >That I'll not have, just like I've not lived through or with what she has
> > >to deal with or has dealt with. So life has it's trade offs doesn't it,
> > >equally in balance, or not, much of that is dependent upon the
> situation at
> > >hand rather than to be judged as a constant.  None of us are perfect.  I
> > >know I have thoughts even today of "I wish I could just hop in a car
> and go
> > >somewhere" or as I've said so many times through the years... "If I got my
> > >sight back? I'd be gone for  a month straight just driving and traveling
> > >this land taking it all in". The difference is now is that those thoughts
> > >don't shut me down. Years ago I felt if I gave up on such thoughts, I'd be
> > >giving up hope, I'd be giving up what and who I am, I'd be giving up a
> part
> > >of me that I can't live without. And yet I felt if I hung on to them,
> I was
> > >only torturing myself. I'd see others who said they accepted they
> would not
> > >do this or that and I felt sad for them to have given up that hope and
> > >accepted the acceptance. Yet I understood that it was for their own
> sanity,
> > >or mental or emotional health, or perhaps energy spent on thinking of such
> > >things that they felt need to give it up. I can't honestly say I've
> > >accepted blindness with open arms and that I am thankful for it, because I
> > >am not. I believe God has used it for my benefit, the benefit of my family
> > >in ways I'd otherwise not have been concerning them, yet if not
> blinded I'd
> > >have not been to them some unwanted things as well. But I look back on my
> > >past with a great fondness and gratefulness that I can remember those
> > >things I did see and experience. I'd take my sight back in a New York
> Light
> > >Minute, if there is such a thing, and yet dwelling on that I know is
> > >unproductive and will not allow me to be the independent and secure person
> > >I am even now. Back in 1990 I would never have thought I could travel solo
> > >across the country as a blind person, but I have and can. I remember back
> > >in my blindness training days at the center, they somehow put me in as
> > >student president, and it happened to be the open house of this new
> > >facility we attended, or new to them, it was actually a prestigious and
> > >historical place. But at the Open House as student body I had to make a
> > >speech. I thought what in the world can I speak about. I mean I'm newly
> > >blinded myself and dealing with things. I remember borrowing three
> > >principles from Stephen Covey... now now now, don't go getting upety on me
> > >cause I'm referring to a motivational and very likely new age speaker lol.
> > >I later found these three principles in a person who had accomplished much
> > >for blind people world-wide. The three principles were "Dependency, In
> > >dependency and Interdependency". Not even knowing I was speaking the
> > >similar principles of this blindness pioneer, I  thought this was a new
> > >mental or emotional technology if you will. And so I suppose spoke with
> > >that mind set, as if I were telling them something new, and to some
> perhaps
> > >it was new. That being dependency was just that, being solely dependent
> > >upon others. Independent, being solely dependent upon oneself. And then
> > >Interdependent, that of being secure in one's self enough to "choose"
> to be
> > >dependent upon others to make the best of our life or situation.  Speaking
> > >aside from our spiritual walk here as I think we'd all agree we are
> totally
> > >dependent upon God for our very breath we take. But, we do have three
> > >choices.  We  can choose to allow ourselves to be dependent upon
> others for
> > >our daily  life tasks, decisions, and activities. Or we can choose to be
> > >pig headed about things and choose to be independent at any rediculous
> > >cost, to do it  ourselves no matter how much time, resources, money and
> > >etc. it might take. No matter if it is in our best interest or not, but we
> > >dad-gummit are going to do it ourselves. Or we can choose to recognize
> that
> > >yes, we can do it ourselves, but wouldn't it be to our benefit to solicit
> > >someone's help right about now. And perhaps allow more time to do
> something
> > >else, or even help someone else with something they need help with.
> That is
> > >where we need to live in regards to blindness. To know we can do something
> > >if we really choose to. Even if we've never done it before, haven't a clue
> > >of how we could do it, but just being secure and sure we could do it if
> > >push come to shove and we really wanted or needed to, and then be secure
> > >enough to say "Hey, got a minute to lend a hand with this?" I've been
> > >around those who are dependent and it isn't pretty, it solicits pity,
> > >sorrowful feelings, sympathy, and the need for others to feel as though
> > >they are somehow responsible for any given situation or need while in the
> > >presence of that blind person, when they in fact are not. It isn't the
> > >blindness however that creates this dependency but our reaction to it in
> > >the sight of others. Yes there are times there are those who treat us as
> > >such initially, but that is in fact their own issue and likely their own
> > >insecurities coming out strange as it might sound, it is true.  I've also
> > >been around those who have been rudely dependent and it is an ugly scene.
> > >Leaving sour faces on those innocently just being friendly
> or  yes  perhaps
> > >a bit misinformed  to the abilities of blind folks, perhaps due to
> > >the  person they met last week who chose to be totally dependent on others
> > >and extracted help in such a way that left the sighted person feeling as
> > >though all blind folks are this way. I've also seen interdependent folks
> > >who blend in socially. They seem to just blend in fine, sometimes there is
> > >a time of adjustment, but once people get to know people, things work out.
> > >Much is dependent upon how we portray ourselves, our posture, our body
> > >language, our  willingness to initiate conversation and our sureness of
> > >travel and etc. People pick up on these things by watching us from across
> > >the room, just as they might anyone else, albeit we are much more the
> > >target carrying a cane or using a guide dog. Do we live interdependently
> > >24/7/365? I wish, but I find myself at times not, but no different than
> > >sighted people. I've been in cars where we were going in circles trying to
> > >find a place when in fact if they'd have listened to me and asked
> > >directions at the first convenience store , we'd have been there already.
> > >We just need to get over our own sensitivity to our own blindness thinking
> > >that because we happen to choose to get help in some very evident areas,
> > >that equally but in different ways even sighted folks will do this without
> > >regard at times, or perhaps only after their pride is broken down and they
> > >finally get mad and then go ask for directions. Am I dependent? Could I
> > >live on my own as a blind person? Yes, do I choose to? Well know I was
> > >married before I became blind, but I did in fact have to examine my
> > >relationship during some marital problems years back to ensure I wasn't
> > >staying in  it for the wrong reasons. I wasn't. Lastly here, I began this
> > >process of blindness without God, and am finishing it with God when my day
> > >to leave this earth arrives, and I'll have had the strength of god and I
> > >prefer the latter. But again, that doesn't differ from any other born
> again
> > >Christian looking back at his life does it.
> > >
> > >Brad
> >
> >Brad
> >
> >    FREE classified ads at HTTP://WWW.RIVERCITIESCONNECTION.COM
> >   Try our "Talking Classifieds". Serving NW Wisconsin & Greater Twin Cities
> >area!
>
>Brad
>
>    FREE  & Talking Classifieds available at:
>HTTP://WWW.RIVERCITIESCONNECTION.COM
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