Lol, Phil. That's a good one.




JulieMelton
visit me at
www.heart-and-music.com
Keep smiling!





>From: Phil Scovell <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: Echurch-USA The Electronic Church
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Fw: Our Pet'z
>Date: Tue, 22 Nov 2005 08:32:43 -0700
>
>This was forwarded to me by a friend who loves dogs and cats.  I thought
>some, notice I said, some, people on this list may appreciate this
>information.
>
>Phil.
>
>
>Subject: PET LETTER
>
>
>Dear Dogs and Cats,
>
>        The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.  The
>other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print
>in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
>your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
>slightest.
>
>        The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
>Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
>because
>I fall faster than you can run.
>
>        I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.  I am very
>sorry
>about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
>your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
>It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to
>the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
>and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing
>but sarcasm.
>
>       For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If
>by
>some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
>necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
>the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
>entered.  Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or
>feline
>attendance is not mandatory.
>
>       The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
>butt.  I cannot stress this enough!
>
>       To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
>our front door:
>
>       Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our
>Pets:
>
>       1. They live here. You don't.
>
>       2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
>furniture (That's why they call      it "fur"niture).
>
>       3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.
>
>       4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
>who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and
>cats are better than kids ..they eat less, don't ask for money all the
>time,
>are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't
>hangout with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about
>having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need
>a
>gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the
>children.