Vinny,
Matt didn't party exactly.  I mean he didn't drink and stuff.  He
just hung out with people and did a lot of instant messaging.  Greg
and I kept talking to him about scholarships.  We warned him that a
part time job couldn't cut it, but he thought that the pel grant and
luck would get him through.  Calvin costs $25,000 a year.  The pel
grant covered 10,000, thus Matt owes $15,000.
Kathy



At 01:06 AM 10/10/2005, you wrote:
>Kathy, $15,000?  The state paid that much for my five years of college and
>living expenses.
>Oh yes, that was in the dark ages when you could learn something at school
>instead of how to party.
>Vinny
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Kathy Du Bois" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 8:05 AM
>Subject: Re: It has been a while
>
>
> > Well Brad,
> > You have to admit, the Packer situation isn't helping much
> > either!  GRIN!  That could get me depressed all by itself!
> >
> > Matt would love to be back at college, but he is in debt pretty deep
> > and is taking this year off to, hopefully, get caught up a
> > bit.  Plus, He may have been a bit immature to live on his own out
> > there.  He wasted a lot of time and didn't hit the books as he should
> > have.  Mom and Dad kept prodding and advising, but he thought that he
> > knew better.  Now he is home.  Chris loves rubbing it in that his
> > older brother is a failure.  That doesn't help the family dynamics
> > any.  Matthew basicly, didn't get any credit for last year, his
> > grades were so bad.  That puts him $15,000 in the hole with nothing
> > to show for it.  Hopefully, he is listening and growing up a bit this
> > year.  Our denomination's annual meeting is in Grand Rapids next
> > summer.  We plan on attending and Matt has set a goal for himself to
> > go back with us and stay out there, but he will have to take self
> > discipline seriously if he does.  We are charging him rent.  We
> > figure that that is just being practical since he wouldn't be allowed
> > to bumb anywhere else, we shouldn't let him get out of the
> > respponsibility here either.  At least Mat is pleasant and easy to
> > get along with and willing to help out around the house.
> >
> > As far as changing things around here for Chris, he does most of his
> > snooping while we are at church.  I don't know how to get around that
> > one.  Too bad we don't have a house church like Phil's.  I could go
> > for that, actually, but Mainers don't change easily.
> > Kathy
> >
> > At 04:53 PM 10/5/2005, you wrote:
> >>Kathy,
> >>
> >>I was just going to ask about you not having heard much from you over
> >>there
> >>in the corner of the US of A. I thought Matt was in Grand Rapids?? He not
> >>return to college this year? I pray your drama work is rewarded. Don't be
> >>discouraged if you do get a rejection letter, that neither means it is
> >>unworthy, nor that it will ever be used or published. I'm not necessarily
> >>a
> >>fan of his, but Garth Brooks was told to go back to Oklahoma, he'd never
> >>make it in the music industry... bet that agent kicked himself a few
> >>thousand times. Hopefully you've copyrighted your work, and you can always
> >>send it out to other venues, and of course perhaps there'll be no need.
> >>Yikes, sounds like Chris is really building up his "get out of the house"
> >>party with his antics. A broken and contrite heart David said is who comes
> >>to the Lord, some folks are thicker hearted than others. Unfortunately
> >>his  heart is as thick as his skull at present. Without sounding paranoid,
> >>when the day comes Chris does check out of the Du Bois Hotel there, you
> >>might consider breaking up your normal routines, as well change the place
> >>of your valuables. If he is stealing now having had a place to sleep, eat
> >>and etc. he will become more desperate when he is challenged in those
> >>areas
> >>based on his own initiative to overcome life's responsibilities. Glad to
> >>have heard from you. Praying.
> >>
> >>Brad
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>At 04:23 PM 10/5/2005 -0400, you wrote:
> >> >Hi guys,
> >> >         Well, I've been quiet lately, haven't I?  Pretty good for
> >> >me!!  "NOT!"  Actually, Ive been keeping up with the reading pretty
> >> >well, so I know pretty much what is going on, but I either lack the
> >> >energy, or the words to describe my life lately, so I just read about
> >> >yours.  I guess I've just found it easier to remain a passive lurker
> >> >lately.    If nothing else, this does show that I can be still for a
> >> >season at least!  GRIN!
> >> >         Ned and Vinny, you will be happy to know that I finally got my
> >> >piano tuned yesterday.  Yea!   The humidity had done a number on it,
> >> >but Greg also hadn't put it together correctly when he decided to try
> >> >to check things out for himself lat summer when I began asking you
> >> >guys questions about it.  Liz and I have been rassing him a bit about
> >> >it, now that we know.
> >> >         Two weekends ago, I was at a women's retreat in New hampshire
> >> > where
> >> >I was one of the music leaders.  At first, it appeared that I would
> >> >be the only musician, but God does answer prayer and we did manage to
> >> >get a worship team together before all was said and done.  It went
> >> >much better that way.  Yea!
> >> >         I finally heard back from the drama company about my skit on
> >> > the
> >> >parable of the four soils and they want to see it so I'm busy
> >> >tweeking and polishing it and hope to get it in the mail by the
> >> >weekend.  Of course, I'm still dreading the rejection letter as a
> >> >result, but I'll never know if I don't try.  I'd really appreciate
> >> >your prayer over this venture for me.  I feel as though I"m really
> >> >stepping out in faith.
> >> >         I'm also busy with my knitting.  I need it for peace of mind
> >> > with
> >> >everything that is happening around me.  I made a prayer shawl for my
> >> >sister and am now learning a really complicated pattern for an
> >> >afghan.  Well, It may not be complicated for people to whom knitting
> >> >is old hat, but for me, I'm pretty amazed!
> >> >         I wish that parenthood were going as well.  Our oldest,
> >> Matt, is now
> >> >employed at Holiday Inn on the housekeeping staff.  He likes it, but
> >> >Matt likes everything.  What he struggles with is being self aware
> >> >enough to know whether or not he is doing well.  He works second
> >> >shift and he still doesn't have his driver's license, even after
> >> >taking the test twice, so Greg still has to run in and pick him up
> >> >and then, of course, pick up chris from Nicki's house along the way.
> >> >         Chris has 27 days more to live with us and then, he is
> >> out!!  We had
> >> >a meeting with a social worker today and two people from the
> >> >department of corrections to try to figure out where Chris will live
> >> >next.  Of course, it would be easiest if he stayed here, for them,
> >> >but even then, if he moved out, they aren't interested in helping him
> >> >too much, especially with any funding.  The problem is that he will
> >> >still be on juvinile probation for three months after he turns 18 so
> >> >he will be ending up in some sort of a no mans land.
> >> >         While Chris's outward violence against us has stopped, "he says
> >> > he
> >> >doesn't want to go back to jail), the passive aggressive stuff has
> >> >increased.  Unfortunately, most passive aggressive behaviors don't
> >> >break the law, just frustrate everyone else in the house hold.  He
> >> >has urinated in a potted plant, stolen his brother's i.d. to try to
> >> >buy cigarettes, stolen things out of our room, not to mention
> >> >retreaved things that we had taken from him that he shouldn't have
> >> >had in the first place.  He spends a lot of his time at Nicki's, but
> >> >he has lied about us so much and undermined our character so much to
> >> >them, that they think that we are real jerks to even want to get rid
> >> >of him.  He is such an excellent liar and con, I almost feel like I'm
> >> >living with the guy from the movie, "Catch Me If You Can."  The
> >> >stories get so convoluted that we can't even tell what is up and down
> >> >sometimes.  Other people, however, who don't know him well, like the
> >> >people that we met with today, don't know that, or in truth, care to
> >> >know that.  If they did take the time to know, they might actually
> >> >have to act and as long as we are around, they have more pressing
> >> >matters to deal with.
> >> >         This family counselor that the courts hired to work with us
> >> > wrote
> >> >this really glowing report about how our family had improved
> >> >dramaticly with his help; no doubt insuring job security for him and
> >> >the agency that he works for.
> >> >         You know, what is so hard is that this is all just so
> >> >wrong!!  Nicki's parents have said that, if worse comes to worse,
> >> >Chris can move in with them.  Her father claims that he can get Chris
> >> >a job at the Home Depot, where he works, but this guy is a drunk and
> >> >a liar himself.  Nevertheless, Chris is clinging to the offer, if
> >> >nothing else works out.  The probation officer also recommended that
> >> >we give Chris the bike of ours,  that he has been using since he
> >> >doesn't have anything else for transportation.
> >> >         I know that I don't know the end of the story yet.  I know that
> >> >anything could change at any time, but this is a pretty low point in
> >> >the story right now.
> >> >         God bless everybody.  Hopefully, my life will settle down
> >> again soon
> >> >and I can be a more frequent contributor again.
> >> >I love you guys and I appreciate your being there, always!
> >> >Kathy
> >>
> >>Brad
> >>
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> >