Lonely in an Electronic Wilderness: "The Great Emotional 
Sickness of Our
  Era"
  By Handan T.  Satiroglu, The Wip
  Posted on April 13, 2009, Printed on April 13, 2009
  httpccwwwddalternetddorg/storystbleacfcjjst
  "Technology allows us to separate ourselves from reality - 
moving people
  away from the real to the imagined, from the emotional to the 
controlled,"
  observes Derek V.  Smith in an email interview with me.
  The author of A Survival Guide in the Information Age sees a 
darker side
  to the proliferation of personal gadgets and the use of 
technology in
  daily life.  áéowEscaping into technology, someone can create 
false worlds,
  identities and experiencesddáé--
  As I sit on a bus en route to my local university library, his 
words hit
  home.  The few passengers on board are not participating in the
  here-and-now but are absorbed in a hypnotizing alternate 
universe of
  mutually exclusive cyber worlds.
  One rider gazes idly into space as he rocks back and forth to 
the tunes
  spilling from his iPod.  A woman busily pounds out text 
messages from her
  sleek clamshell Blackberry, her fingers flying frenetically.  
Yet another
  squints his eyes in concern as he surfs the corridors of the 
internet from
  his cell phone.
  When I attempt to greet a fellow commuter opposite me, he 
returns my gaze
  without even a glimmer of shared humanity.
  Uneasy and alienated, I turn on my own iPod and surf through 
the
  one-hundred plus digital music files, but none sustain my 
interest.  I
  can't help but feel that technological gadgets are keeping 
people apart
  and breaking down our society.
  Malignant Self-Love author Dr.  Sam Vaknin echoes my lament.  
"Technology
  had and has a devastating effect on the survival and 
functioning of our
  core social units, [rendering it] atomized and anomic."
  Elaborating, he adds, "Modern technology allows us to reach 
out, but
  rarely to truly touch.  It substitutes kaleidoscopic, brief, 
and shallow
  interactions for long, meaningful and deep relationships."
  It seems to not only be wrecking havoc on interactions across 
society, but
  is even breaking down intimate relationships.
  In what Italian filmmaker Michelangelo Antonioni eloquently 
calls "the
  great emotional sickness of our era," people are finding 
themselves
  increasingly detached and drifting away from intimacy.
  "It is not that I don't value friendships," says Chelsea, an 
overworked
  forty-something who puts in 10-hour days at her high-tech 
company.  "But
  often with work and personal schedules, it is hard to 
coordinate a meeting
  time with friends."
  Joe Vajgreat, a part-time college student and a full-time 
employee, blames
  not only scheduling but also fatigue.  "I'll be planning on 
spending time
  with people, but when the time actually comes around to see 
them, I prefer
  to stay home to recharge my batteries."
  Social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace make it 
possible for
  him to keep in touch with hundreds of friends, but he admits 
feeling even
  more isolated after spending time online because such virtual 
connection
  removes the personal element of communication.
  Perhaps most telling about the dwindling state of friendships 
is college
  student Justin's reaction to my question of how many friends he 
has.
  "Friends or 'friends'?" he asks.  "I don't even know what the 
term means
  anymore."
  Whether it is the proliferation of technology, dearth of time, 
or a
  shifting of priorities, polls suggest that Chelsea, Joe and 
Justin are not
  alone in their predicament.  A 2006 study published in the 
American
  Sociological Review found that Americans had on average only 
two close
  friends, as opposed three, two decades ago.  One in four 
Americans said
  they had no one to confide in, compared to one in ten in 1985, 
while the
  number of people who depend solely on their spouse went from 
five to nine
  percent.
  Laura Pappano, author of The Connection Gap, asserts that this 
lack of
  connection with people who truly matter to us manifests in an
  inappropriate search for connection with strangers.
  "We ache for closeness, for others to penetrate our being, but 
our
  desperation all too often shows," she writes.  "People we 
hardly know -- or
  don't know at all -- seek the friendship equivalent of the 
one-night
stand."
  Dr.  Martin E.  P.  Seligman, head of the American 
Psychological Association,
  sheds more light on what our new world of electronics looks 
like without
  human contact.  He states that the U.S.  is in the throes of a 
depression
  epidemic, "where an American today is more likely to suffer 
clinical
  depression in their life than at any other time in the past 100 
years."
  What use are our layers of communication tools when so many of 
us are
  drowning in mental anguish?
  "Technology does not loan you money or come by to see you when 
you are
  sick or sad.  It may connect you with someone who does, but the
  characteristics that are truly human must be transmitted by 
humans,"
  surmises Derek Smith.  "Much of the human experience is about 
sight, sound,
  smell, touch, and intuition that in turn require human contact 
and
  proximity."
  Our decreasing face-to-face interactions over the last 20 years 
may not
  only lead to social alienation but dangerous health effects.
  Psychologist Dr.  Aric Sigman believes that spending too much 
solitary time
  with the almighty gizmo may actually change our chemical 
makeup.  In a
  recent article on the technology news website cationet, he 
cautions internet
  addicts that "there does seem to be a difference between 'real 
presence'
  and the virtual variety."
  According to Dr.  Sigman, our crucial love and cuddle hormone, 
oxytocin,
  activates when we're with other people.  If we produce less of 
this hormone
  because of a lack of social interaction, it can undermine our 
immune
  system.
  There's something to be said for the spontaneity and richness 
that only a
  real-life meaningful encounter with a person can bring.  After 
all, how do
  you convey with electronic devices the magic of a smile, hug, 
handshake or
  infectious laughter?
  But to be fair, technology alone is not to blame.  Technology 
is only an
  enabler.  I blame us: we have chosen to be over-plugged and
  under-connected, to immerse ourselves in an endless, 
unrestrained virtual
  experience.  Add to this the cut-throat individualism, 
workaholism,
  suburbanization and relentless consumerism that define our 
modern
  existence, and we may have found ourselves slowly slipping, in 
the words
  of T.S.  Elliot, "into a splendid desert, a domed steepled 
solitude, when a
  stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race."
  Fortunately, there are still places left in the world untouched 
by the
  tyranny of twenty-four hour technology.  I think fondly of a 
time I spent
  in a remote, self-sustaining fishing village on the Turkish 
Lycian
  coastline, where people greet the day not to the shock of an 
alarm clock,
  but to the rays of sunlight stealing into the room.  At the end 
of a hard
  day's work, villagers gather in the rich traditions of 
Mediterranean cafs
  ringing with boisterous conversations.  On weekends, friends 
and family
  gather around the kitchen table, share stories and nibble on 
figs and
  olives as they slowly sip their tea.  Conversations drift in 
and out as
  children play in the narrow, cobbled streets.
  There, people connect, not through their Blackberries, cell 
phones, or
  laptops, but physically, emotionally and intellectually in 
flesh and
  blood.  There, the only sign of our times is an internet caf 
that houses
  only two computers with a connection speed that would test any 
outsider's
  patience.
  These organic ways of living, it seems, will never again come 
into
  existence in our post-industrialized Western world.  Meanwhile, 
"we still
  have the power to set limits," as Pappano reminds us.  "If we 
can find the
  opportunities to reach out, - and not retreat -- we may find 
that in our
  quest for meaning and richness we are, in the end, not so 
alone."
  Handan TÀ--lay Satiroglu is a Turkish-American independent 
journalist who
  divides her time between the U.S.  and Europe.
  Ággc) 2009 The Wip All rights reserved.


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