Very cute stories.

Vicki

----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, May 10, 2005 9:45 PM
Subject: [ECHURCH-USA] Listen up grandma and grandpa


> Priceless  Grandparent Stories
> >
> >
> > 1.    After putting her grandchildren to bed, a  grandmother changed
into
> old
> > slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash  her hair. As she heard
> the
> > children getting more and more rambunctious, her  patience grew thin. At
> last
> > she threw a towel around her head and stormed into  their room, putting
> them
> > back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room,  she heard the
> > three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was  THAT?"
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 2.    A  mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was
> like:
> > We  used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
> hung
> > from a  tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
> raspberries
> > in the  woods."  The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.  At last
> she
> > said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you  sooner!"
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 3.    My grandson  was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
> know
> > how you and God are  alike?"!  I mentally polished my halo while I
asked,
> > "No, how are we  alike?"  "You're both old," he  replied.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 4.    A little girl  was diligently pounding away on her father's word
> > processor.  She told him  she was writing a story.   "What's it about?"
he
> asked.
> > "I don't  know," she replied. "I can't  read."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 5.    I didn't know if  my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so
I
> > decided to test her. I would  point out something and ask what color it
> was. She
> > would tell me, and always she  was correct. But it was fun for me, so I
> > continued. At last she headed for the  door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I
> think you
> > should try to figure out some of  these yourself!"
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 6.    A  Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.  They
were
> > ready  to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell
her
> > what it was.  Susie raised her! hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou
shall
> not
> > take the covers  off thy neighbor's  wife,"
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 7.    Our  five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his father about
> the
> > movie we had  watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The
> > scenes with the  submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
> In the
> > middle of the  telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the
> submarine
> > to sink?"   With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the
> 20,000
> > leaks!"
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 8.    When my  grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we
kept
> the
> > lights off until  we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
> > Still, a few  fireflies
> > followed us in.  Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered,  "It's no
> use,
> > Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with  flashlights."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 9.    When my  grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
"I'm
> not
> > sure."   "Look in your underwear, Grandma! ," he advised. "Mine says I'm
> > four."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 10.    A second grader  came home from school and said to her mother,
> "Mom,
> > guess what? We learned how  to make babies today."  The mother, more
than
> a
> > little surprised, tried to  keep her cool. "That's interesting," she
said,
> "How
> > do you make babies?"   "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just
> change"y" to
> > "i" and add  'es'."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 11.     Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant,"
said
> a
> > teacher.  The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
> pregnant."
> > The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.  "Don't you know what
> pregnant
> > means?" she asked "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means
> carrying
> > a  child."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 12.     A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one
> morning.
> > He had made  her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in
her
> > life. When she got  to the bottom, there were three of those little
green
> army men
> > in the cup.   She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my
> coffee?"
> > Her  grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV - "The best part of waking
up
> is
> > soldiers  in your  cup!"
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 13.     Susie Sunshine asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of
> > their   favorite Bible stories.  She was puzzled by Jimmie's picture
which
> showed
> > four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to
> > represent.
> > "The flight to Egypt." said Jimmy.  "I see, and that must be  Mary,
Joseph
> and
> > Baby Jesus," Ms. Susie said.  But who's the fourth  person?"  "Oh,
that's
> > Pontius - the  Pilot."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > 14.     A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of
> kids
> > home one  day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of
> the
> > fire truck  was a
> > Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the dog's duties.  They
> use
> > him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.  "No," said another,
"he's
> just
> > for good luck."  A third child brought the argument to a close.  "They
use
> the
> > dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire  hydrant."
>