I'm not sure about this; Linda would probably know better, but I think
the priest would only be bound to confidentiality if the "husband" told
her of the abuse in the context of a confession, or a counseling
session.  If your friend were to tell him about the abuse herself, I
think he'd be both legally and morally obligated to report it. 

Health care professionals are also required to report abuse and neglect
issues, and the nurse who's your friend's attendant can report these
things, and not be worried that she'll lose her license for reporting
them.  

The thing about raising the couch sounds like something that's
definitely worth checking on, because that's something that would
increase your friend's safety, and not doing it, or having the things
used to raise the couch removed, decreases her safety.

Kendall 

An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.

-George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950

-----Original Message-----
From: Magenta Raine [mailto:[log in to unmask]] 
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 12:19 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Fwd: Marriage

The problem with telling their priest about it, is that if the couple
talk
to him, I think he cannot go to the cops because of confidentiality, or
maybe that just applies to confession, I don't know. Anybody know?

Anthony, you have been so lucky! Most of us have not been so lucky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Come visit my new store! http://www.cafepress.com/TamarMag
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> [Original Message]
> From: Anthony Arnold <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Date: 2/27/2006 10:29:49 AM
> Subject: Re: Fwd: Marriage
>
> I guess it's typical of abusive situations (unfortunately), but when
they're
> at church together as a family, everybody thinks he is a kind guy
helping
> his wife anyway he can, but when they're out of the church
environment,
his
> whole attitude changes.  But at church, you can typically get
volunteers
to
> help you at home, which is something he wants because he doesn't want
to
do
> anything for his wife.  
>
> This gal Also has a personal attendant coming in, and once she
requested
her
> attendant to build up their couch, to make it easier for her to get on
and
> off, the attendant did, and it was a fairly cheap and simple
modification
to
> do, but the husband threw a fit and refused to sit on the couch, and
> actually called the cops on this attendant for trying to do this.
This
> attendant is a RN, and has a license to protect, and didn't want this
to
go
> on her record.  The positive thing was the cops were very
understanding to
> why the gal needed the couch built up, so they did nothing besides
just
> logged the call.  This attitude is very foreign for me, I have always
been
> surrounded by people who always have not only accepted but shown some
> interest in my wheelchair and other assistive technology devices that
assist
> me with my daily life.  
>
> Thanks, 
> Anthony 
> Visit my website at www.anthonyarnold.net
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
Behalf Of
> ken barber
> Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 11:50 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Fwd: Marriage
>
> it is definatly abuse. you need to get the woman and
> child some help. i wish i could say that a prist would
> be the way to go, but, i know from experience that
> some religous leaders will not step up and do the
> right thing, many times they take the "see no evil..."
> approach. if the priest does not get her some help,
> then you go somewhere else to get it. 
>
> --- Kathleen Salkin <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > Mag's right, I'd see this as spousal abuse, not as a
> > guy that has got  
> > problems with his wife's disability.  I think you
> > ought to talk to  
> > their priest and see what he says.  If not their
> > parish priest, then  
> > another priest.  Unless he is very conservative on
> > such matters, the  
> > priest should be willing to talk them about this
> > situation.
> > 
> > Maybe the husband has a drinking problem, or even
> > worse, a meth habit  
> > (all too common these days, I fear).  Thus, it's
> > imperative that an  
> > experienced person get in there and evaluate the
> > situation.  Think in  
> > terms of saving that lovely child from harm as well
> > as her mother.
> > 
> > I think the clergy has a moral, if not legal
> > responsibility to report  
> > it to the authorities if he sees that this is a
> > dangerous situation  
> > for the woman and her child.  But something does
> > need to be done.   
> > Too many women die or become severely disabled at
> > the hands of  
> > abusive men.
> > 
> > 
> > Kat
> > 
> > On 27 Feb 2006, at 02:34, Magenta Raine wrote:
> > >
> > > There are many resources for able bodied
> > marriages,  you can look on
> > > Amazon.com for ideas for books. Contact Easter
> > seals, sometimes  
> > > they have
> > > support groups for married folks with
> > disabilities. also look for  
> > > books
> > > that help women have better self esteem.
> > 
>
>
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