Good one, Pat.
earlier, Vinny Samarco, wrote:
>Pat,
>very good.
>Vinny
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Pat Ferguson" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Saturday, August 06, 2005 7:05 PM
>Subject: Christian Humor
>
>
> > --=====================_31456039==.ALT
> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
> >
> > Subject: Christian Humor. !!
> >
> >
> > There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to
>her
> > brother in another part of the country.
> > "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
> > "Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
> > ***********************************************************
> > "Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.
> > There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning,
>Lord,"
> > and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's
> > morning."
> > ===================================================
> > A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he
> > was short of time and couldn't find a
> > space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that
> > read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss
> > my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
> > When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with
>this
> > note "I've circled this block for 10
> > years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into
> > temptation."
> > ===========================================================
> > There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his
> > congregation: "I have good news and bad
> > >>news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new
>building
> > program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
> > =========================================================
> > While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.
> > The owner of the carriage obviously had a
> > sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand
> > printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.
> > Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
> > =======================================================
> > A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls,
> > what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!"
> > said the kindergarten boy.
> > "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who
> > does art in Heaven... "
> > =========================================================
> > A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a
> > long holiday weekend. The attendant worked
> > quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant
> > motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so
> > sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute
> > to get ready for a long trip.
> > " The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my
>business."
> > ===========================================================
> > People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center
> > of attention.
> > ===========================================================
> > A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know
>what
> > the Bible means!" His father smiled and
> > replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"
> > The son replied, "I do know!"
> > "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
> > "That's easy, Daddy." the young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for
> > "Basic Information Before Leaving Earth."
> > ============================================================
> >
> > Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson
> > was about. The daughter answered,
> > "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
> > Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor
> > stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what
> > that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy
> > comforter is coming."
> > ==========================================================
> > The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask
> > the congregation to come up with more money
> > than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.
> > >> Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick
> > and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute
> > wanted to know what to play.
> > "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently.
> > "But, you'll have to think of s omething to play after I make the
> > announcement about the finances."
> >
> > During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters,
>we
> > are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice
> > as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge
> > $100 or more, please stand up."
> > At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."
> > And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
> >
> > Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
> > Give me the grace to see a joke,
> > To get some humor out of life,
> > And Pass Along To Other Folk !
> >
> > --=====================_31456039==.ALT
> > Content-Type: text/html; charset="us-ascii"
> >
> > <html>
> > <body>
> > <font face="arial" size=2> Sub</font><b>ject:</b> Christian
> > Humor<font face="Comic Sans MS" color="#800080"><b><i>. !!<br>
> > <br>
> > <br>
> > </i></b></font>
> > <dl>
> > <dd><font face="Times New Roman, Times"> There was a very gracious
> > lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part
> > of the country.<br>
> >
> > <dd>"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal
> > clerk.<br>
> >
> > <dd>"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.<br>
> >
> > <dd>***********************************************************<br>
> >
> > <dd>"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the
> > world.<br>
> >
> > <dd> There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good
> > morning, Lord,"<br>
> >
> > <dd>and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good
> > Lord, it's morning."<br>
> >
> > <dd> ===================================================<br>
> >
> > <dd>A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city
> > because he was short of time and couldn't find a<br>
> >
> > <dd>space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper
> > that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here,
> > I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."<br>
> >
> > <dd>When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along
> > with this note "I've circled this block for 10<br>
> >
> > <dd>years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job.
> > Lead us not into temptation."<br>
> >
> > <dd> ===========================================================<br>
> >
> > <dd>There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to
> > his congregation: "I have good news and bad<br>
> >
> > <dd>>>news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our
> > new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your
> > pockets."<br>
> >
> > <dd> =========================================================<br>
> >
> > <dd> While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish
> > carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a<br>
> >
> > <dd>sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a
> > hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and
> > grass.<br>
> >
> > <dd> Caution: Do not step in exhaust."<br>
> >
> > <dd> =======================================================<br>
> >
> > <dd>A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys
> > and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air.
> > "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.<br>
> >
> > <dd>"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You
> > know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "<br>
> >
> > <dd> =========================================================<br>
> >
> > <dd>A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before
> > a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked<br>
> >
> > <dd>quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the
> > attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said
> > the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if
> > everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.<br>
> >
> > <dd>" The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the
> > same in my business."<br>
> >
> > <dd> ===========================================================<br>
> >
> > <dd> People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and
> > the center of attention.<br>
> >
> > <dd> ===========================================================<br>
> >
> > <dd>A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly,
> > "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and<br>
> >
> > <dd>replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible
> > means?"<br>
> >
> > <dd> The son replied, "I do know!"<br>
> >
> > <dd>"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible
> > mean?"<br>
> >
> > <dd> "That's easy, Daddy." the young boy replied
> > excitedly, "It stands for "Basic Information Before Leaving
> > Earth."<br>
> >
> >
><dd> ============================================================<br><b
>r>
> >
> > </dl>Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the
> > lesson was about. The daughter answered,<br>
> > "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."<br>
> > Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the
> > pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what<br>
> > that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not
> > afraid, thy comforter is coming."<br>
> > ==========================================================<br>
> > The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was
> > going to ask the congregation to come up with more money<br>
> > than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.<br>
> > >> Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was
> > sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The
> > substitute wanted to know what to play.<br>
> > "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently.<br>
> > "But, you'll have to think of s omething to play after I make the
> > announcement about the finances."<br><br>
> > During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and
> > Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice<br>
> > as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge
> > $100 or more, please stand up."<br>
> > At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled
> > Banner."<br>
> > And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!<br><br>
> > Give me a sense of humor, Lord,<br>
> > Give me the grace to see a joke,<br>
> > To get some humor out of life,<br>
> > And Pass Along To Other Folk !<br>
> > </font></body>
> > </html>
> >
> > --=====================_31456039==.ALT--
John
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