Phil,

 From what I know of it, I'd agree Vivian is having issue of not dealing
with  Jennifer's death very much so, and turning about and accusing George
of it. Likely out of her own  wonder of why she can't shrug it off. In
other words it is so hard to her, and she is trying to rely on George, and
he too is suffering, and so she accuses him. I've been in similar, albeit
not in a death situation but the blame for something the other was actually
doing.  Having lost my brother at age 38, and watching my parents deal with
it, losing a child is a very tough thing. In fact I've heard from a few
sources that dealing with a child's death is one of, if not the worst,
emotional issue to go through. More than divorce, more than a loss of a
parent as you tent to get survivor's guilt and etc. From that knowledge
alone I  know Vivian is suffering, and there is no shame in  that. Jennifer
was their only flesh and blood product out of a love for each other, and I
suppose there are emotional/mental aspects to that in reverse which tend to
affect the relationship too if not sorted out proper, or if God isn't
allowed to heal that too without constant rejuvenating it in their minds.
In all that I also can tend to see Vivian may have other issues prior to
this which are being accentuated now. I've been to a point of  "just not
being able to take it anymore", ready and willing to just give up the
marriage, it  was for me, emotional horror and extremely dark  spiritually.
And I didn't have a challenge with depression at the time, well I was
depressed due to the situation no doubt, I didn't even want to go to work
as we were also in financial  deep waters and it all seemed so pointless,
but I wasn't clinically depressed as it were. Anyway, all that to say I
feel for him, and Vivian too as one has to look past the initial situation
or obvious behavior of beating down a depressed man to a point of seriously
considering divorce, which if he does, likely comes with it's own set of
emotional failures, and particularly with George, the family and friends
ought use wisdom to keep watch for signs of suicidal thoughts/plans. People
tend to behave in certain ways when they have made a decision from what
I've heard and seen.  May God pull that marriage together and rip the hands
of the enemy off it, and heal the hurt and blame for something that wasn't
their fault in any way.

Brad


At 11:03 PM 1/10/2006 -0700, you wrote:
>Please pray for George.  He is in pretty bad emotional shape.  He wrote me
>last week and told me he promised his wife that he would no longer have any
>contact with me.  It didn't help.  She is pounding him into the ground that
>he is not being successful and not overcoming the death of their daughter.
>His sister, in Minnesota, called me today and told me that George thinks he
>will go se a divorce lawyer this week because he cannot take it any more.
>Plus, his wife had deleted my phone numbers from George's cell phone.  His
>sister called to get my cell and home numbers straightened out so she could
>give them to her brother.  My hand on the Bible, one of the worst things a
>person can do his pound on a depressed person.  His sister said at least
>this time he isn't talking about suicide so praise God for that.  He is a
>broken man, though, and he loves his wife.  So do I, for that matter, and
>that's why I keep praying for her.  I am just praying that his wife comes
>face to face with the God of the universe so she can be healed from the rage
>that is in her.  Make no mistake about it, that's what it is, too, rage and
>rage against God for not sparing her daughter from death.
>
>Phil.
>
>
>Jesus Is Your Problem Not The Devil.  Luke 12:5
>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com

Brad

   God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, not his extra



At 11:03 PM 1/10/2006 -0700, you wrote:
>Please pray for George.  He is in pretty bad emotional shape.  He wrote me
>last week and told me he promised his wife that he would no longer have any
>contact with me.  It didn't help.  She is pounding him into the ground that
>he is not being successful and not overcoming the death of their daughter.
>His sister, in Minnesota, called me today and told me that George thinks he
>will go se a divorce lawyer this week because he cannot take it any more.
>Plus, his wife had deleted my phone numbers from George's cell phone.  His
>sister called to get my cell and home numbers straightened out so she could
>give them to her brother.  My hand on the Bible, one of the worst things a
>person can do his pound on a depressed person.  His sister said at least
>this time he isn't talking about suicide so praise God for that.  He is a
>broken man, though, and he loves his wife.  So do I, for that matter, and
>that's why I keep praying for her.  I am just praying that his wife comes
>face to face with the God of the universe so she can be healed from the rage
>that is in her.  Make no mistake about it, that's what it is, too, rage and
>rage against God for not sparing her daughter from death.
>
>Phil.
>
>
>Jesus Is Your Problem Not The Devil.  Luke 12:5
>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com
Brad

   You are richer today if you have laughed, given, or forgiven



At 11:03 PM 1/10/2006 -0700, you wrote:
>Please pray for George.  He is in pretty bad emotional shape.  He wrote me
>last week and told me he promised his wife that he would no longer have any
>contact with me.  It didn't help.  She is pounding him into the ground that
>he is not being successful and not overcoming the death of their daughter.
>His sister, in Minnesota, called me today and told me that George thinks he
>will go se a divorce lawyer this week because he cannot take it any more.
>Plus, his wife had deleted my phone numbers from George's cell phone.  His
>sister called to get my cell and home numbers straightened out so she could
>give them to her brother.  My hand on the Bible, one of the worst things a
>person can do his pound on a depressed person.  His sister said at least
>this time he isn't talking about suicide so praise God for that.  He is a
>broken man, though, and he loves his wife.  So do I, for that matter, and
>that's why I keep praying for her.  I am just praying that his wife comes
>face to face with the God of the universe so she can be healed from the rage
>that is in her.  Make no mistake about it, that's what it is, too, rage and
>rage against God for not sparing her daughter from death.
>
>Phil.
>
>
>Jesus Is Your Problem Not The Devil.  Luke 12:5
>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com

Brad

   There is a difference between having a problem, and being a problem