Been there, this close.... to ending my marriage!!!! Ben too left after one
of those  "I can hurl more insults than you" fights,  intending  to get a
hotel room near his work, but there was no room for him, not anywhere, so...
he came home.  Not that he wanted to, but where else could he go?  I too
prayed one of those desperation prayers "God, I've tried all in my power to
hold it together, I am so tired, I have no energy left, I've looked for a
way out that you would approve, and can't seem to find one, so do something
so I can stand it, cause things to get better, or let Ben leave.  I can't
keep on going on like this.  I am at the end of all I know, and I need an
answer.

Well, guess you guys can guess the answer, I am still here, and January 26th
is our anniversary 21 years! "Thank You God for intervening when I had no
more strength nor answers, thank You for those who encouraged me to stay,
when that wasn't the answer I wanted to hear, Thank You for your answer
forBrad and his wife, You are truly the repairer of broken dreams, broken
hearts,

Rhonda and a giver of hope when all seems to be lost for ever.



-----Original Message-----
From: Echurch-USA The Electronic Church
[mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of MV
Sent: Sunday, January 01, 2006 9:02 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: when someone you love is depressed!

What. You are a glutton for babble punishment? lol. Well in short, it was I
think in May of 1996. My wife and I were this far *pinching fingers within
a hair's width away*, from calling it quits.  As a CEO Christian, Christmas
and Easter Only *smile*, not born again, not ever having looked at God as
anything other than a lightening bolt bully which had no real purpose in
daily life but rather a point of focus in church I ought to attend to be a
good guy, which was filled with a bunch of hypocritical fakes, I remember
half way down my steps to my office  in the basement my will broke and I
stopped and began praying to God saying "God?  I'm tired of  fighting for
this marriage. I just simply cannot and will not do it anymore. So
please,  either give me the strength to just tell her and let me go my own
way, or the strength to get this thing back where it belongs. Either way I
can't stay as it is anymore." Soon after that we had another blow out, you
know, one of those normal garden variety fist clenching, rage building
refrigerator punching disagreements? lol. She then  packed up her bags and
was headed for a hotel. Evidently God had a different plan because as he'd
have it, there wasn't a room in this town or the nearest one either. Not a
one room. She came back and said basically she felt it was a sign we ought
try to work things out, give it another go, a real try this time. Of course
with all the damage that had been caused in words to each other  and etc.
we both knew it wasn't just going to be come out from the corners and shake
hands. We decided to go to church that Sunday, so riding around Sunday
morning going "Eenie meenie, mie-nee mo" we happened along a Methodist
Church, only due to the fact that we were running out of time and if we
kept riding much longer, we'd have missed every service in town. Wouldn't
you know the preacher there was talking about marriage? Funny isn't it?
Well. The next week or so we attended a church a friend of my wife
attended. In fact this woman was part of the ministry there. Her and her
husband were children's ministers, who later started their own church in
which I helped with praise and worship, and who are the same couple that
unfortunately divorced after various issues. That is a sad story but
anyway. So we attended this church. This was a tongue talking Holy Spirit
walking jump in the isles when you sing kind of church. Wow! I thought
hmmm. That kind of church was not unfamiliar to me as my wife and her
family attended a similar one in Marinette years back and I'd attend just
so I'd get an extra day with my sweetie as it didn't count against the
three she was limited to spending with me per week then. lol. Shifty
character eh? Anyway at this church there was due to be a drama ministry
called... hmmm. what was it called? lol. Stopping to think here, grab a
coffee and I'll have it when you return. Hmmm. The same drama wrapped under
a different name the year before was "Glory In The Fire", they change the
name every year and I keep thinking it was something like Scared Straight
lol. Although that was a movie about drugs when I was in school  years
back, the idea was the same. OK. I admit I had to ask my daughter the name,
the drama was called "Final Destiny". Basically had several drama scenes
depicting varying real life situations from a garden variety mom who didn't
accept Christ to a drug deal gone bad with teens, to born again Christians
who were called home in an auto accident or something. Basically showing if
you aren't right with God? You is BBQ and if you are? You is alright. It
was done exquisitely. At the end they of course have an alter call. I've
been to churches who had alter calls  before then and I've never had a
problem standing there with both feet flat to the floor and dry palms. This
time? This time was different. When they had the alter call, and I knew one
was likely to be coming, I felt convicted, I felt torn inside. As I stood
there people moved to the front, and I had no concern for anything else
going on around me. I heard the man say something to the affect of... "I
know  God is tugging at a few of you who are suppose to be up here but you
are standing there with sweaty palms". My God! I felt he was talking
directly to me, I believe my wife was to my left and two kids to the right.
I did not grab my wife's hand to come up with me, I just began walking out
to the right, my wife followed and so did my two kids and the lot of us
gave our lives to Christ right then. Well my wife rededicated her life as
in high school she attended a teen event  and accepted Christ. But myself
and both my kids accepted Christ at that time and our lives began to change
big time. We still had some struggles but there was an underlying peace and
sureness and we all began to grow. So that's about the size of it.

Brad