Phil,
         Boy, this post makes me feel like we are just echoing your
household.  I'm with you on the illegal thing too.  Chris isn't off
probation yet so, he could end up in jail as well for thirty
days.  Of course, I'm, praying that it doesn't come to that.  What
parent wants to see that happen?  No good parent that I know of.
         Last night, at church, we had a guest come in to do a
concert so Greg was able to sit with me and the other three kids, as
a family.  this is a rare treat in the life of a pastor's
family.  Then, after church, we came home and read scripture and sang
around our advent wreath.  We were enjoying being a family.  Nobody
was swearing at us and telling us how stupid we are or what losers we
are or anything.  While I was enjoying the moment, and it really was
wonderful, I couldn't help but think in the back of my mind how,
instead of peaceful, if Chris was here, this time would have the
potential to be come a very stress filled, rather then joy filled
one.  I am committed to keeping the peace going in my house.  If that
means keeping Chris at a distance, so be it.  That is his choice, not
mine.  I'm just responding, I believe appropriately, to the decisions
that he has made.
         I know what you mean about talking tough too.  If someone
else wants to walk in my shoes and carry the knot in the pit of my
stomach, when I think of him, they are welcome to it.  I just keep
remembering that my goal is peace.  I also keep remembering what you
said about Chris not having the right to set the agenda in my
home.  Thoughts like that help keep me going.
Kathy


At 04:53 PM 12/18/2005, you wrote:
>Kathy,
>
>I talk tough but after this morning, I believe the ultimate decision will
>have to be made, that is, telling her to move out.  I don't want to do that
>but I have a minimum of three other people involved that are aware of
>everything from about day one with Gretchen.
>
>Based upon what you and Greg are discussing, and Sandy and I have had those
>talks dozens of times, I would do two things.  First, I have one thing I
>won't tolerate from Gretchen and I reminded her of this last week when we
>talked.  If I find out she is breaking the law, I will call the police
>myself.  This would be hard to do because Gretchen has no more chances by
>the court system.  She will go to prison, not jail, but prison.
>
>Secondly, today my daughter complained how she "hates" every Thanksgiving
>and Christmas.  This implies, of course, we ruin every Thanksgiving and
>Christmas she has.  Thank you very much.  I told Sandy, Gretchen is no
>longer welcome in our home for Thanksgiving and Christmas starting right
>now.  In the case of Chris not liking his gifts?  I'd take them back from
>him and give them to someone who appreciates them.  If I couldn't do it
>myself, I'd have somebody help me.
>
>Additionally, Sandy and I converse with many other Christians about these
>situations just to make sure we aren't crazy.  By the way, we aren't crazy.
>Yes, we have made mistakes.  So what else is new but, as I always tell
>Gretchen, I've never been arrested, I've never been to jail, I don't have an
>addiction problem, and I don't have a criminal record either.  She has all
>of those things.  It makes little difference because she simply cannot, at
>these times, be reasoned with.  Unfortunately, there are two little boys
>involved so it makes such decisions many times more difficult.
>
>Phil.