Pat,
I heard something similar some time ago, but it still makes me laugh, maybe
because it's all pretty likely.
JulieMelton
visit me at
www.heart-and-music.com
Keep smiling!
>From: Pat Ferguson <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: Echurch-USA The Electronic Church
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Noah in 2005
>Date: Tue, 25 Oct 2005 11:24:18 -0500
>
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>Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
>
>
> > Noah in 2005
> >
> >In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
> >United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
> >over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
> >Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good
> >humans."
> >He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark
> >before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
> >
> >Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
> >but no completed Ark.
> >"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
> >
> >"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
> >building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for
>a
> >sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
> >zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height
> >limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
> >
> >Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
> >future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to
> >clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea
> >would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
> >Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
>trees
> >in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
> >environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
> >
> >When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
> >They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They
> >argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and
> >inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
> >
> >Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted
>an
> >environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
> >I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission
> >on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
> >Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most
> >of the people who want to work.
> >
> >The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
>only
> >Union workers with Ark-building experience.
> >To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying
> >to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
> >So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
>finish
> >this Ark."
> >
> >Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
> >stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean
> >you're not going to destroy the world?"
> >"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
> >
> >
> >
> >Larry Campbell
> >
> >
> ><http://us.lrd.yahoo.com/_ylc=X3oDMTFqODRtdXQ4BF9TAzMyOTc1MDIEX3MDOTY2ODgxNjkEcG9zAzEEc2VjA21haWwtZm9vdGVyBHNsawNmYw--/SIG=110oav78o/**http%3a//farechase.yahoo.com/>Yahoo!
> >FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.
>
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>Content-Type: text/html; charset="us-ascii"
>
><html>
><body>
><blockquote type=cite class=cite cite="">
><dl>
><dd><font face="arial" size=2> Noah in
>2005</i></font><font face="georgia" size=2><br><br>
>
><dd>In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
>United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked
>and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.</i><br>
>
><dd>Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few
>good humans."</i><br>
>
><dd>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build
>the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40
>nights."</i><br><br>
>
><dd>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
>yard - but no completed Ark.<br>
>
><dd>"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where
>is the Ark?"</i><br><br>
>
><dd>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have
>changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector
>about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've
>violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and
>exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal
>Board for a decision.</i><br><br>
>
><dd>Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for
>the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions,
>to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the
>sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.</i><br>
>
><dd>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
>trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
>environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no
>go!<br><br>
>
><dd>When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued
>me.<br>
>
><dd>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
>They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and
>inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.<br><br>
>
><dd>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd
>conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.</i><br>
>
><dd>I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
>Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building
>crew.<br>
>
><dd>Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of
>most of the people who want to work.<br><br>
>
><dd>The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
>only Union workers with Ark-building experience.<br>
>
><dd>To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm
>trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.<br>
>
><dd>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
>finish this Ark."</i><br><br>
>
><dd>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
>stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You
>mean you're not going to destroy the world?"<br>
>
><dd>"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to
>it."<br>
></b></font><br>
>
></dl><br><br>
><font face="Comic Sans MS" size=4 color="#FF7F00">Larry Campbell<br>
></font><br>
><br>
><a
>href="http://us.lrd.yahoo.com/_ylc=X3oDMTFqODRtdXQ4BF9TAzMyOTc1MDIEX3MDOTY2ODgxNjkEcG9zAzEEc2VjA21haWwtZm9vdGVyBHNsawNmYw--/SIG=110oav78o/**http%3a//farechase.yahoo.com/">Yahoo!
>FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.</a>
></blockquote></body>
></html>
>
>--=====================_11119234==.ALT--
|
