Peggy,
Welcome to our loving juvinile system.  Oops, Sorry Pat, I didn't
mean to use "loving" in that way, but I think you'll understand my
sarcasm.  GRIN!
Kathy


At 08:51 PM 10/6/2005, you wrote:
>That's bizarre!  So the message that's being communicated to Chris
>is, "Don't do these things, because they're illegal, but if you'd
>like to hang around people who do them and encourage you to do them,
>that's okay."  What a mixed message his probation officer is giving him!
>
>Peggy
>
>At 07:48 AM 10/6/2005, you wrote:
> >Hey Peggy,
> >The thing that blows me away is that the probation officer didn't
> >object to Chris moving in with Nicki's family.  She'll take anything
> >to keep the financial responsibility off her shoulders.  It really
> >does come down to the bottom line like that.  Nicki's older brother,
> >who is a month younger than Chris, will be released from the same
> >correctional facility that Chris was at last spring, in
> >December.  The brother was held there for two years!  I can't help
> >but wonder what will happen when the two of them get together.  Nicki
> >has had her own run ins with drug court and has had to pay fines for
> >under age smoking.  She is Chris's main supplier of cigarettes, as
> >far as we can tell.  I would think that the probation officer might
> >be a bit discouraging about Chris moving in to this chummy family,
> >but nope!  We come off looking like the crazy people for not wishing
> >him the best.  I just get so frustrated!
> >Kathy
> >
> >
> >At 09:50 PM 10/5/2005, you wrote:
> > >Kathy, it's great to hear what's going on with you.  I'd been
> > >wondering how you were doing, and thinking that if you didn't tell us
> > >soon, I'd ask.  I wonder if it would be good for Chris to live at
> > >Nikki's house and experience other types of parenting, from liars and
> > >drunks.  Then maybe he'd begin to realize he doesn't have it as bad
> > >as he'd like everyone to believe.
> > >
> > >Hugs, and post when you can,
> > >
> > >Peggy
> > >
> > >At 01:23 PM 10/5/2005, you wrote:
> > > >Hi guys,
> > > >         Well, I've been quiet lately, haven't I?  Pretty good for
> > > >me!!  "NOT!"  Actually, Ive been keeping up with the reading pretty
> > > >well, so I know pretty much what is going on, but I either lack the
> > > >energy, or the words to describe my life lately, so I just read about
> > > >yours.  I guess I've just found it easier to remain a passive lurker
> > > >lately.    If nothing else, this does show that I can be still for a
> > > >season at least!  GRIN!
> > > >         Ned and Vinny, you will be happy to know that I finally got my
> > > >piano tuned yesterday.  Yea!   The humidity had done a number on it,
> > > >but Greg also hadn't put it together correctly when he decided to try
> > > >to check things out for himself lat summer when I began asking you
> > > >guys questions about it.  Liz and I have been rassing him a bit about
> > > >it, now that we know.
> > > >         Two weekends ago, I was at a women's retreat in New
> > hampshire where
> > > >I was one of the music leaders.  At first, it appeared that I would
> > > >be the only musician, but God does answer prayer and we did manage to
> > > >get a worship team together before all was said and done.  It went
> > > >much better that way.  Yea!
> > > >         I finally heard back from the drama company about my
> skit on the
> > > >parable of the four soils and they want to see it so I'm busy
> > > >tweeking and polishing it and hope to get it in the mail by the
> > > >weekend.  Of course, I'm still dreading the rejection letter as a
> > > >result, but I'll never know if I don't try.  I'd really appreciate
> > > >your prayer over this venture for me.  I feel as though I"m really
> > > >stepping out in faith.
> > > >         I'm also busy with my knitting.  I need it for peace
> of mind with
> > > >everything that is happening around me.  I made a prayer shawl for my
> > > >sister and am now learning a really complicated pattern for an
> > > >afghan.  Well, It may not be complicated for people to whom knitting
> > > >is old hat, but for me, I'm pretty amazed!
> > > >         I wish that parenthood were going as well.  Our oldest,
> > > Matt, is now
> > > >employed at Holiday Inn on the housekeeping staff.  He likes it, but
> > > >Matt likes everything.  What he struggles with is being self aware
> > > >enough to know whether or not he is doing well.  He works second
> > > >shift and he still doesn't have his driver's license, even after
> > > >taking the test twice, so Greg still has to run in and pick him up
> > > >and then, of course, pick up chris from Nicki's house along the way.
> > > >         Chris has 27 days more to live with us and then, he is
> > > out!!  We had
> > > >a meeting with a social worker today and two people from the
> > > >department of corrections to try to figure out where Chris will live
> > > >next.  Of course, it would be easiest if he stayed here, for them,
> > > >but even then, if he moved out, they aren't interested in helping him
> > > >too much, especially with any funding.  The problem is that he will
> > > >still be on juvinile probation for three months after he turns 18 so
> > > >he will be ending up in some sort of a no mans land.
> > > >         While Chris's outward violence against us has stopped,
> > "he says he
> > > >doesn't want to go back to jail), the passive aggressive stuff has
> > > >increased.  Unfortunately, most passive aggressive behaviors don't
> > > >break the law, just frustrate everyone else in the house hold.  He
> > > >has urinated in a potted plant, stolen his brother's i.d. to try to
> > > >buy cigarettes, stolen things out of our room, not to mention
> > > >retreaved things that we had taken from him that he shouldn't have
> > > >had in the first place.  He spends a lot of his time at Nicki's, but
> > > >he has lied about us so much and undermined our character so much to
> > > >them, that they think that we are real jerks to even want to get rid
> > > >of him.  He is such an excellent liar and con, I almost feel like I'm
> > > >living with the guy from the movie, "Catch Me If You Can."  The
> > > >stories get so convoluted that we can't even tell what is up and down
> > > >sometimes.  Other people, however, who don't know him well, like the
> > > >people that we met with today, don't know that, or in truth, care to
> > > >know that.  If they did take the time to know, they might actually
> > > >have to act and as long as we are around, they have more pressing
> > > >matters to deal with.
> > > >         This family counselor that the courts hired to work
> with us wrote
> > > >this really glowing report about how our family had improved
> > > >dramaticly with his help; no doubt insuring job security for him and
> > > >the agency that he works for.
> > > >         You know, what is so hard is that this is all just so
> > > >wrong!!  Nicki's parents have said that, if worse comes to worse,
> > > >Chris can move in with them.  Her father claims that he can get Chris
> > > >a job at the Home Depot, where he works, but this guy is a drunk and
> > > >a liar himself.  Nevertheless, Chris is clinging to the offer, if
> > > >nothing else works out.  The probation officer also recommended that
> > > >we give Chris the bike of ours,  that he has been using since he
> > > >doesn't have anything else for transportation.
> > > >         I know that I don't know the end of the story yet.  I know that
> > > >anything could change at any time, but this is a pretty low point in
> > > >the story right now.
> > > >         God bless everybody.  Hopefully, my life will settle down
> > > again soon
> > > >and I can be a more frequent contributor again.
> > > >I love you guys and I appreciate your being there, always!
> > > >Kathy
> > >
> > >mailto:[log in to unmask]
> > >http://www.home.earthlink.net/~kernsac
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>
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