Rhonda,

We do not have to talk to the people who offended us in order to forgive
them. I speak of first hand experience on that one. What is trivial to one
person might be dramatically traumatic to another. Everyone lives
different lives with different experiences and it can be the littlest
thing to trigger offenses, painful  memories, sorrow, hurt, anger, you
name it. Personally I always find it helpful to put their shoes on my
feet. Then I  ask myself, "Why would they do this"? After I look at it, I
can usually find pity for them if nothing else, they are lost and do not
have Christ. If a fellow Christian, I realize they, as I, are not perfect,
and can too find some reason. For me I need to find the reason they did
what they did, or presume it anyway, and then it is easier to forgive
them. Also we can look inside us too, and ask "Why does this bother me",
just like cindy asked herself why the calls bothered her so much. When we
ask this, we can ask God to reveal what is going on, and  the situation
which made you hurt or angry, is only a covering of another time in life
when something similar happened. Generally looking both outward and
inward  helps. My nickel's worth.

Brad


on 04:36 PM 8/1/2005, Rhonda said:
Recently a friend and I have been discussing forgiveness.  She was hurt by
a
former pastor, and still feels  angry towards him, I know we are to
forgive
those who hurt us, and it is not even necessary that they apologize,
but...
how does one work through those hurt feelings! when one feels ignored,
betrayed, and  these feelings exist after several years, there must be
more
there somewhere!
Is it always necessary to discuss a problem with the one who hurt us,  to
resolve it?
and what if we talk and say "I was hurt when  xyz happened" and they act
as
though it was a  trivial thing, and something that should have not
concerned
us!
Rhonda