Rhonda,

As a follow up, the reason your friend is holding on to the feelings of
anger is again, based upon something other than the anger itself.  If we
believe that we cannot be free, or change, or be right with God, until the
other person changes, we are believing a lie rooted in bondage.  Our
relationship with the Lord has absolutely nothing to do with anyone other
than the Lord Jesus Christ.  In other words, she can be free even if the
pastor never changes or can't see why she feels the way she does.  Great for
her, of course, but bad for him if he can't see the truth.

Phil.