Pat,

I suppose a true litmus test of forgiveness would be to meet up face to
face with this person, and my not   dishing out a McKnuckle sandwich. But
yes I think that if one can in fact think on the situation or person and
not feel anger but instead sorrow or  pity, or even just neutral I
suppose, I'd think forgiveness is present. I think one can tell in the
heart if you have honestly forgiven someone. I doubt  I'd ever forget
large offenses, small ones perhaps , as their damaging impact is not note
worthy to my mind.

Brad




on 07:54 AM 7/25/2005, Pat Ferguson said:
Oh Brad! I can just picture that happening! How scarey.

Now, I have a question. How do you really know if you have reallyforgiven
someone, maybe you think you have, but the hurt is still there, or is that
about forgetting?

Blessings,
Pat Ferguson

At 03:12 PM 7/23/05, you wrote:
 >No forgiveness doesn't equate forgetting. For one I'm not sure that is
 >even possible in of our selfs, well minus a traumatic experience, but
not
 >only that, we obtain wisdom and understanding from not forgetting. If we
 >are sucked into a bad situation by say accepting a ride from a stranger,
 >and things turn out not good, we learn to not do that in the future. I
did
 >such back in the 90's, albeit nothing bad happened, I did learn. . While
 >at a blindness adjustment center in the Twin Cities, a friend and I went
 >to the store, bought a bit more groceries than we anticipated, called a
 >cab and waited, and waited and waited and waited. No cab. But this
 >other  young gentleman saw us waiting and offered us a ride. Before I
 >could say, "No, thanks anyway", my friend  opened up his yap and said
"yea
 >sure". My friend being older than I, and fairly knowledgeable in such
 >things surprised me. Anyway  This young guy was clean cut and drove a
 >fairly  newer car and prominently displayed a Bible on the dash and a
 >swinging Jesus, I say swinging Jesus 'cause he was on a chain swinging
 >from the rear view mirror.  almost too prominently displayed as if to
say
 >"you can trust me". Anyway, I jump in the back passenger side of the
car,
 >slam the door,  and my buddy and the guy are tossing  the rest of the
 >goods in the trunk. I think to myself "Oh shoot, I want to check to see
if
 >we got every thing out of the cart" I go to get out, and there is no
door
 >handle, it had been removed. I doubt broken cause like I say, it was a
 >nice neat clean and newer car. As I recall  the other rear door was also
 >missing the handle. I had no way of letting my friend know in time
before
 >he jumped in so we could bale out before we became a six o'clock news
 >statistic. Fortunately this man brought us to the apartment as promised,
 >and perhaps he was a nice kind young man with a Bible on the dash and a
 >swinging Jesus on the mirror, and just happened to have two back doors
 >without handles, but I know I'll never take such offers again in a metro
 >downtown area or anywhere for that matter. My friend can if he wants,
but
 >I ain't lol. So although there is nothing much to forgive, I will not
 >forget, and have learned because of that unforgetness. Similar is the
 >benefit from a situation requiring forgiveness.
 >
 >Brad
 >
 >
 >Brad
 >
 >
 >on 02:01 PM 7/23/2005, Rhonda said:
 >That sure is an interesting thought!  I wonder though as huans can we
 >truly
 >forget, or is it rather that we don't make it a practice to daily or
 >weekly
 >list the offenses others have  commited against us?
 >I've been married for almost 21 years now, and I know there many times
 >that
 >through word or action I have hurt the one I promised to love till death
 >do
 >us part, and he has hurt me.  And if I wanted too, I could remember some
 >of
 >the deepest hurts, there is a  memory of them, but the pain of them is
not
 >something that hinders my love for Ben, because I love him I have
forgiven
 >him, and as time goes by, I find it more dificult to recall speciffic
 >worda
 >and actions.  I was thinking of Angel here, and the rape of her
daughter,
 >a
 >horriffic event, I am sure she will never forget,  so what do you all
 >think?
 >Does forgiveness mean total forgetfullness?
 >
 >Rhonda