Hi Guys,
        Well, Chris turns 18 next Tuesday.  Where is he moving?  We don't
know.  His girl friend's, father's, offer must have ben made while
the man was, "in his cups," so to speak, because it hasn't been made
again.  That would be a relief except that they did find someone who
Chris could move in with.  This was a guy on government assistance
who was going to make Chris chip in on expenses that he himself
doesn't pay.  It's not the first time that I've breathed a prayer of
thanks that Chris was on probation.  Chris has to receive his
probation officers blessing before he can make good on any of his
crazy schemes.   This time, it only took one call for the officer to
learn that Chris was planning on moving in with a sex offender with a
police record and a history of drug abuse.  Nice friends Nicki's
parents have!  "NOT!"    AT least this time, it wasn't us who had to
say "NO!"  It was the officer.  Yea!
        Tomorrow, Chris is going to throw himself on the mercy of the city
to see what they may hafve to offer.  To her credit, the probation
officer has not tried to talk us in to backing down and keeping
Chris.  Chris wants his freedom.  He thinks that once he moves out
and gets rid of us all of is problems will be over.  He has no
money.  He owes us, but can't pay us because the girl friend's
parents keep borrowing and not paying back.  This weekend, his wallet
turned up missing.  Chris  suspects Nicki's younger brother, why not,
the older one has already served two years in juvanile detention, but
he can't prove it.  Foolishly, what money Chris still had, he refused
to put in the bank, enjoying the convenience  of having it with him
when he needs cigarettes or condums, so we have no idea how much he lost.
        I don't feel bad about letting Chris go.   I know that God is going
with him and that is such a great comfort.  Strangely, however, I
know that I will miss him.  Every day lately I've gone down into his
room to straighten it, make his bed and wash his clothes.  I do this
for two reasons.  One is to keep out the smell.  Chris doesn't bathe
regularly, he smokes and he comes home smelling like McDonalds after
having worked there.  The combination can be overpowering, but if I
were to insist that he clean everything, it would just be another
battle that I couldn't really win, so I deal with my anger by keeping
things clean.  The other reason, however, is that doing this is the
only way that I can love Chris right now, in secret, where he can't
stop me.  I take the time while making his bed and folding his
clothes to pray hard for him.  It's the only expression of love that
I am allowed right now and so I take it.  In five days, it will be
all over.    I am at peace with that.  Sometimes, it hurts when I
here the other children express their desire that he leave sooner
than later, but I can't blame them.  I had just always wanted a close
knit, Walton type family I guess, but the reality is that I don't
have that.  I do have three great kids who do enjoy our togetherness,
however, and I know that some parents don't even have that, so I
still have a lot to be thankful for.
        Please keep Chris in your prayers.  He is off track now, but I still
know, with certainty, that his dross will be consumed and his gold
will be refined.  I still believe in him even though it looks
hopeless right now.  I keep saying, "where there is life there is
hope."  He was dedicated to the Lord at three months.  I've always
seen my kids as, on loan from God.  Well, next week, I completely
surrender him back to the father.  "Go with him, Lorrd.  I"m so glad
to know that he will never be out of your sight.  Amen."
Kathy