Helen,
Thank you for that.
Kathy
At 10:01 AM 6/23/2005, you wrote:
>No, I don't think you know too much, Kathy. But one of your concerns
>expressed this morning was should you tell Chris that you have been
>monitoring. I didn't come right out and say no, you shouldn't, but I will
>now. I don't believe it would be in the best interest of any of you!
>
>Love,
>Helen
>
>Earlier, Kathy Du Bois wrote:
> >Actually, those are really good questions. Thank you for that and I can
> >answer "yes," to a lot of ;them. I believe that our kowing what is going
> >on has helped to keep the leash a lot shorter than it could have been. For
> >example, one of Chris's friends is very deep in to drugs. His mother has
> >chosen to bury her head in the sand, so to speak and we know that he is
> >really messed up. It's sad because he was really a smart, creative boy at
> >one time. We've been able to pray through a lot of situations because we
> >were aware of them, for example, the money that he lost last week. The
> >trust issue is something that I do worry about. I also don't think that
> >what we are doing is wrong so I don't know if I would feel ready to
> >apologize at this point. I suppose that that sounds crazy, but that's how
> >I see it. We didn't start out be suspecting him. We responded to his
> >suspicious behavior. I'm not sure where Chris would be if we had just let
> >him slip away. Also, we do have responsibility for him until he is
> >18. Trying to figure out how to accomplish that is more of our
> >dilemma. Soon, we will be able to cut the strings legally, send him off
> >and then we won't know anything, but in the meantime, while we are being
> >held legally responsible, the boundaries are tough. I mean, the father of
> >the prodigal son didn't have to say, "I'm sorry sun, you'll have to wait
> >until you're 18." The son wanted to take off and the father let him
> >go. We would let him go, but we can't yet legally. However, we would
> >feel irresponsible if we just tried to pretend we didn't know anything
> >while he is still under our roof. So, now we know, but do we know too much?
> >Kathy
> >
> >
> > >Earlier, Kathy Du Bois wrote:
> > > >Hi guys,
> > > > Well, I told you that there would be twists and turns. Chris
> > > > passed the
> > > >drug test. That really shocked us until we got home and monitered his
> > > >calls to his girlfriend and his druggy friend and learned that he
> cheated
> > > >and put water in the cup. His girlfriends had told him to make sure
> that
> > > >it was warm, not cold. Chris followed her advice and got another clean
> > > >report. Now he thinks that he's in the clear until his court date July
> > > >12th. Last night, I overheard him trying to meet up with another
> > dealer to
> > > >get some weed. Chris is getting money because he is doing some odd jobs
> > > >for our neighbor, who doesn't have the greatest reputation either. this
> > > >guy pays Chris in cash so we never see it. chris doesn't tell us
> how much
> > > >he is getting, so we can't put a finger on how much he has so he can
> keep
> > > >trying to get weed, but pretend to be innocent with us. It's crazy
> > making.
> > > > I have to admit that, for me, yesterday was a real
> > > > cricess moment in my
> > > >faith. I believe that we did all the right things. We tried to have
> > > >him hold Chris accountable and face the consequences of his
> > actions. Now,
> > > >I wrestle with the question of, "why?" It's that same old question that
> > > >God doesn't usually answer, but I'm puzzling over why God let Chris get
> > > >away with this? I'm feeling let down by Him!
> > > > Another issue that Greg and I are wrestling with is whether or
> > > not we
> > > >should let Chris know that he is being monitered so closely by us. We
> > > >began monitering when Chris started sneaking out in the middle of the
> > night
> > > >and not telling us where he had been or where he was going and
> > refusing to
> > > >give us the names of his friends. He never seemed to have any money and
> > > >this was odd since he was earning more than $100 a week. He wouldn't
> > > >talk to us so we started investigating on our own to try to get a
> > handle on
> > > >things. We've managed to get a couple of people busted and we have been
> > > >able to continue to be very aware of Chris's activities: something we
> > feel
> > > >is justified since he is still under our roof and we are still
> completely
> > > >responsible for him. But, I'm interested in your opinions. Would you
> > > >tell? Have we fallen into the trap of being deceitful just like
> Chris is,
> > > >or are we doing the right thing? You know, in a way, I think about
> > how God
> > > >knows everything too, but He knows what He is doing. He knows what is
> > > >right. I need to seek the counsel of others for in that there is
> wisdom.
> > > >Kathy
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