I think my favorite one is the soldiers in the cup hehehe


Lelia Struve email [log in to unmask] msn [log in to unmask]
----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, May 10, 2005 9:45 PM
Subject: Listen up grandma and grandpa


> Priceless  Grandparent Stories
>>
>>
>> 1.    After putting her grandchildren to bed, a  grandmother changed into
> old
>> slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash  her hair. As she heard
> the
>> children getting more and more rambunctious, her  patience grew thin. At
> last
>> she threw a towel around her head and stormed into  their room, putting
> them
>> back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room,  she heard the
>> three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was  THAT?"
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 2.    A  mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was
> like:
>> We  used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
> hung
>> from a  tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
> raspberries
>> in the  woods."  The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.  At last
> she
>> said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you  sooner!"
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 3.    My grandson  was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
> know
>> how you and God are  alike?"!  I mentally polished my halo while I asked,
>> "No, how are we  alike?"  "You're both old," he  replied.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 4.    A little girl  was diligently pounding away on her father's word
>> processor.  She told him  she was writing a story.   "What's it about?"
>> he
> asked.
>> "I don't  know," she replied. "I can't  read."
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 5.    I didn't know if  my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
>> decided to test her. I would  point out something and ask what color it
> was. She
>> would tell me, and always she  was correct. But it was fun for me, so I
>> continued. At last she headed for the  door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I
> think you
>> should try to figure out some of  these yourself!"
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 6.    A  Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.  They
>> were
>> ready  to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell
>> her
>> what it was.  Susie raised her! hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall
> not
>> take the covers  off thy neighbor's  wife,"
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 7.    Our  five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his father about
> the
>> movie we had  watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The
>> scenes with the  submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
> In the
>> middle of the  telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the
> submarine
>> to sink?"   With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the
> 20,000
>> leaks!"
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 8.    When my  grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
> the
>> lights off until  we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
>> Still, a few  fireflies
>> followed us in.  Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered,  "It's no
> use,
>> Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with  flashlights."
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 9.    When my  grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm
> not
>> sure."   "Look in your underwear, Grandma! ," he advised. "Mine says I'm
>> four."
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 10.    A second grader  came home from school and said to her mother,
> "Mom,
>> guess what? We learned how  to make babies today."  The mother, more than
> a
>> little surprised, tried to  keep her cool. "That's interesting," she
>> said,
> "How
>> do you make babies?"   "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just
> change"y" to
>> "i" and add  'es'."
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 11.     Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant,"
>> said
> a
>> teacher.  The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
> pregnant."
>> The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.  "Don't you know what
> pregnant
>> means?" she asked "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means
> carrying
>> a  child."
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 12.     A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one
> morning.
>> He had made  her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in
>> her
>> life. When she got  to the bottom, there were three of those little green
> army men
>> in the cup.   She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my
> coffee?"
>> Her  grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV - "The best part of waking up
> is
>> soldiers  in your  cup!"
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 13.     Susie Sunshine asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of
>> their   favorite Bible stories.  She was puzzled by Jimmie's picture
>> which
> showed
>> four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to
>> represent.
>> "The flight to Egypt." said Jimmy.  "I see, and that must be  Mary,
>> Joseph
> and
>> Baby Jesus," Ms. Susie said.  But who's the fourth  person?"  "Oh, that's
>> Pontius - the  Pilot."
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> 14.     A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of
> kids
>> home one  day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of
> the
>> fire truck  was a
>> Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the dog's duties.  They
> use
>> him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.  "No," said another,  "he's
> just
>> for good luck."  A third child brought the argument to a close.  "They
>> use
> the
>> dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire  hydrant."