Phil,

I'm praying for George and Vivian, and for you and Sandy.

Love,
Pat Ferguson



At 01:57 PM 4/30/05, you wrote:
>In talking with George in recent days, I have learned some very unsettling
>things.  I tried calling George one day this week and their answering
>machine came on.  The out going message was still their daughter's voice
>recording the message.  I said something to George about it that day and he
>said that Vivian will not allow him to change it.  When I asked why, he said
>that his wife still believes that Jennifer is going to come walking up to
>the front door so she will not do anything with her clothes or personal
>things nor will she allow the answering machine to be changed because
>Jennifer is going to be resurrected.  Now there are two things about this I
>want to say.  First of all, I am the first in line to believe God can still
>raise people from the dead.  Secondly,  I am the first to say this isn't one
>of those cases where it is going to happen.  I know why, too.  Jennifer
>wanted to die.  How do I know this?  Jennifer told her older brother, he is
>married and has several children, a year ago, If I die, don't cry over me.
>Since Jennifer's death, they have discovered that her room is filled with
>all the drugs that Jennifer was supposed to be taking.  They even were the
>some of the drugs that would keep the bacteria that killed her from
>developing.  Sandy, my wife, types this sort of thing often.  Young people,
>but it can be old people as well, often stop, at some point, taking their
>medications because they are sick of it.  They decide in their heart, I will
>either live or die but anything is better than this.  Jennifer was also
>living a lie the last three or four years of her life.  Some of what she was
>doing was illegal and she was almost arrested once but George was able to
>fix the problem before that happened.  Yes, Vivian knows all of this.  So
>what's the problem?  First, what Vivian is facing isn't all that uncommon.
>Her feelings are based upon several characteristics of grief alone but it
>isn't just the grief, in her case, causing, what we might consider, bizarre
>thinking.  First, Vivian is holding herself responsible for her daughter's
>death.  This is a lie of the Enemy, of course, but right now, Vivian doesn't
>know this.  why?  She is being deceived.  Secondly, it is her own motherly
>instincts working against her.  A mother is going to feel responsibility for
>her daughter, or son, including their behavior, sickness, problems, and
>everything else about them.  Why?  Because, they gave birth to them.
>Father's feel these same feelings for their offspring but for different
>reasons.  Take my word for it; I know.  In Vivian's situation, however, my
>spirit tells me that the death of their daughter is related to something
>earlier.  For example, I know that her mother died about seven years ago.
>Only the Lord knows everything else that is related to the way Vivian is
>acting right now.  George emailed me this morning and told me that he sat
>Vivian down and had a long talk with her last night.  He explained that
>their daughter wouldn't be coming back and that their daughter wanted to
>die.  Oh, by the way, Jennifer also told her brother, her saving hope was
>getting new lungs.  If she didn't get those, she said, she was a goner.
>When the lung transplant was canceled, she said she was going to die.  New
>lungs isn't the Lord.  He was to be her focus; not new lungs because He can
>give someone new lungs if they are putting Him first in their belief system.
>Jennifer was not doing that.  I know this for many more reasons than I am
>mentioning here.  Regardless, last night, after George talked with his wife,
>she sat there as if she never heard a word and nothing has changed.  So, as
>part of all of this that has been going on, I wanted you to know more so you
>could pray.  Grief is a very odd thing.  It can last for years.  People can
>have their entire lives totally changed due to grief.  Regardless of how odd
>the symptoms may be, grief is normal, up to a point, but believe me, as one
>speaking from personal experience, grief can mask attacks of the Enemy.
>When my mom died two years ago, the Enemy tried to fool me into thinking
>something about myself, related to my mother, which took several days before
>the dust settled enough for me to hear the truth from the Lord that set me
>free from a trap.  What Vivian, and George for that matter, are facing, is a
>biggy but it is also just as big of opportunity for the Lord to bring
>healing to places that may have remained covered for their entire lives.
>Just keep praying for them when you think of them.
>
>Phil.