Approaching the harbor you are struck with awe of the external view of the
ship you are about to board. It's girth, length, height and width are
breath taking to consider. One wonders how this vessel can stay afloat with
it's many floors, cargo and people. As you approach to board it along with
hundreds of others you have no idea of what exists inside and excitement
builds as you consider what it is like inside this enormous piece of craft.
Slowly you make your way through the chained barricades as they wind you to
and fro like a maze until finally you walk up the gang plank and for the
first time see what lies inside this ship. Once you are inside and look
around, and get a feel of what it is you find, just like a church, you are
either aboard a party barge, slave ship, or Christ cruiser. It is difficult
when you have researched the voyage and ship prior to boarding and then
find later, after you have purchased your ticket and packed your bags, that
you need to jump off at the next port because it is not the ship for you,
the voyage is not what you had hoped. Again this is similar to churches. We
find Party Barges who drink up the Holy Spirit like a bar fly and party on
in a sea of lost folks totally oblivious  to anything beyond their claims
in Christ for their own wants and desires. And you have slave ships who
also have blinders on who are so consumed with working on the inside of the
four walls which hold it's cause, that they begin to burn out and the
voyage becomes very labor some and with each stroke of a row, it seems the
ship moves no where, none of the  people floating lost at sea are picked up
because the focus is on the ship, therefore no new blood comes in to spread
the load of work, no sense of accomplishment is seen, no progress, no
nothing but sight of endless work and no forward progress but just enough
bustle to stay afloat. Sort of like flailing ones arms about the surface of
the water in a disorganized manner, and for the enormous amount of energy
spent, it is by the occasional hits upon the water treading water is
fortunately accomplished, while breathing becomes more and more difficult
and the arms are beginning to burn with muscle fatigue. And we also have
Christ Cruisers who focus on Christ, the lost, set forth plans by the
guidance of god and although much work is put into it, it is done joyfully
and with genuine appreciation and one is energized to continue and through
the efforts those willing to be picked from the salty sea are done so,
brought in, washed off, and join the ranks of laborers  making it easier
yet to lift more folks out of the sea.

It is indeed difficult to find balance in a church. I too am in  just such
a position. I've  bought my ticket, boarded the ship and began work, and
found out it is a slave ship and in need of checking out at the next port
stop. I'm somewhat convicted as I despise church hopping. That is to say,
to hop hop hop to find just the church that fits my needs, for my wants,
the way I want things to be. After all why don't they do things the way I
suggested or want, after all that is the best way... right? Right? I do not
care for that attitude and yet I know that is not the motivator of my
stepping back from music over the next month or two and eventually
researching a new voyager. For months and months we've served with no
vision, no plan, no idea of where we are heading. No sense of making a
difference and lack of conviction that if we ran across someone in
desperate need of god, that we could bring them to church and they'd
actually be affected. In fact there is no real opportunity for them to be
affected on this particular ship. After this decision has been made, now
out comes the big plans for a vision, to take action, to move forward, and
etc. The idea of removing commitment of music is so freeing, so lifting of
a burden, I hadn't realized how much it was weighing on my shoulders.
Either I am really missing God to be backing out at this juncture of the
church catching a vision and goal planning, or this is the divine appointed
time to do such to make way for a right person for the work. I've been
through essentially two churches on the entry level of growth and getting
feet off the ground and now this one, and have experienced as well a ship
who is established and carries wisdom and is making a difference. I can't
help but look for the latter as it has become too draining to continue to
reside in the former.

I don't look for the perfect church, cause I'll join and ruin it, but I do
gauge  or discern it from it's fruit as God's word says.

Brad