Kathy,

Yep, they will jerk you around and everything about being a parent that
you've ever heard goes out the window, or so it seems.  Basically, if I had
it to do over, I would do everything the same and then some.  Why?  Because
Gretchen was a minor.  Would it have changed anything?  I doubt it.  All my
snooping by recording off the phone and things like that made me feel worse
because I discovered it was worse than we thought.  We tried getting other
people involved with Gretchen but that never worked either because those
people we thought would care, didn't.  The emotional side of the whole
thing, Kathy, is hell, and in more ways than one.  Hell, as in, the Enemy
working against us, and hell as in, nightmare.  Ned is right.  This is the
Enemy trying to kill two or three birds with one stone.  You are going to
question and doubt every aspect of your relationship with God as a result of
Chris's behavior.  You won't like what you see about yourself either.  Try
and keep it all in context, however, but that won't be easy to do.  The Lord
is going to, has already begun, using Chris to get to you.  The Enemy thinks
he is on another search and destroy mission.  God know's better and let's
the Enemy think he knows what he is doing.  When the smoke and dust settles,
the Enemy will have lost.  The problem is, we don't know how much Chris is
going to lose in the process.  He may lose a lot.  He may lose even his
life.  Either literally or by sitting in jail for some of his life.  If you
can get him into some program where he is living away from his family, that
most likely will be the best for everyone.  This is spiritual war, Kathy,
and there are no rules to follow.  You only do the best that you can do and
let the rest go.  You can't turn Chris loose as easily right now as long as
he is a minor and that's where the big conflict is.  You and Greg are at war
now, Kathy, and there is no easy way around it.  Fight back

Phil.