Rhonda,

I like that one!

Love,
Pat Ferguson


At 11:14 AM 11/2/04, you wrote:
>A friend sent me this:
>
>In the year 2004, The Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
>Canada, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-
>populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark
>and save two of every living thing, along with a few Good humans." He
>gave Noah the blueprints, saying "You have six months to build the
>Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
>
>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
>yard, but no ark. "Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
>Where is the Ark?"
>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a
>building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need
>for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
>neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
>the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board
>for a Decision. Then Transport Canada and the Departments of Highways
>and Hydro demanded a Bond be posted for the future costs of moving
>power, trolley and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage
>for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming
>to us, but they would hear nothing of it."
>
>"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
>trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
>environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no
>go!" "When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by animal
>rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against
>their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too
>restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a
>confined space."
>
>"Then Environment Canada ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until
>they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed
>flood."
>"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
>commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my
>building crew. Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They
>insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building
>experience."  "To make matters worse, the Canada Customs and Revenue
>Agency seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country
>illegally with endangered species.
>
>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to
>finish this Ark."
>
>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
>stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You
>mean you're not going to destroy the world?"  "No", said the
>Lord. "The
>Government beat me to it."