Welcome back Meka. Glad to hear you want to get back with your choir
family. Hanging with fellow Christians who are following God is a great
tool to help keep yourself accountable, and them too. I appreciate your
honesty. You did not have to say any of that, but your choice to do so is
a great sign you have decided to do something about it.
Blessings,
Brad
Tomeka White wrote:
>Hello, everyone:
>
>Well, life has certainly been interesting, full of ups and downs, twists and
>turns. Firstly, let me apologize for my very long hiaitis from the list,
>and truthfullly, from any form of communication. I caught up with some mail
>and I guess I'd better set a few facts straight.
>
>Firstly, I would never blacklist anyone for good, sound advice given in
>genuine love. I don't operate that way, nor will I ever do so. I have been
>on this list for quite a while and have cherished the advice given from my
>echurch family.
>
>Secondly, no, I'm not married. Alex and I had talked about marriage and had
>gotten way ahead of ourselves. I was supposed to go to England this summer,
>but that sort of got canceled due to my breaking up with Alex! He still
>wanted to be friends and come out here in July, which I allowed. It
>solidified my reasons for breaking up with him. He's a nice guy, but things
>were going too fast. When we broke up, he said such things as "oh yes, well
>go ahead and have sex with other guys', or 'I don't understand why you won't
>have sex with me, you're the kind of girl that likes it casual'. He said
>some of these things while at my house, and I should have kicked him out,
>but I wanted to be welcoming and warm. But there is truly a difference
>between being a good hostess and being a doormat for verbal abuse. As he
>left, I told him that he was no longer welcome here if all he could do was
>insult me. Friends do not actively seek to hurt each other, and I don't
>have to deal with that. I get that enough from my father, I certainly don't
>have to take it from this guy. In other news, I just had someone here to
>visit and I suppose we are dating, but this time slow and steady wins the
>race. I'm in no rush to play relationship volleyball. It's tiring, and I'm
>ready to pick up my toys and go home. *grin*
>
>I am no longer in school. I believe that I should be getting a job, as my
>most immediate needs are financial. I have to be motivated to do it, and I
>am also afraid. But I know that whatever I do, I'll work hard to make sure
>that it goes to fruition and that I do a good job.
>
>I suppose I should talk about what's happening with me spiritually. This
>won't be easy, but I am a candid person. I stopped going to church
>regularly around January or so. I know this is going to sound as though I
>am some kind of know-it all, but I don't mean for it to by any means. Our
>church is a fairly large church. I was involved with the choir for quite
>some time. Once I slipped away from that, I slipped away from everything
>else too. I wasn't feeling at home there, but that was probably because I
>wasn't going there to feel at home. And the longer you stay away, the
>harder it is to come back. I see so many programs within the church, we are
>apparently bridging from 40 days of purpose to something else that is new
>and different and exciting. I have told myself that I'm going to go this
>sunday and rejoin the choir. The choir is like a family within the family,
>and much happens during the rehearsals. I know that I am responsible for my
>walk with God, but it feels like I have no energy to put in to it. I have
>been praying and I know and recognize the need for God to be the central
>focus of my life, but I suppose I wonder why that has to be in a church
>setting.
>
>To be quite honest, I wish we could be more like the new testament churches
>that met in homes. That would be the ideal church or setting for me. I do
>not pretend that there is a perfect church, there isn't. I may not even be
>explaining my situation. These are honest thoughts, not excuses.
>
>Lexus is doing well, after quite the scare at the ACB convention where he
>was passing blood in his stool. He then lost about fourteen pounds and in
>August, he was passing a lot of blood. That seems to be rectified now, and
>he is on the mend, thank the lord!
>
>I look forward to being a more active participant on the list. I am sorry
>if you all were worried. I love you all.
>
>Hugs,
>Meka
Brad
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