I Tried To Die


                         By Phil Scovell




     I meant a man a year and a half ago.  He had taken is gun up
into the hills near his home in Oklahoma one day to end his life.
He was a born again Christian.  The depression and anxiety attacks
just were no longer bearable.  As he sat and tried to generate
enough courage to pull the trigger, he told the Lord that he just
refused to believe that the God of the universe, the Creator of
all things, didn't have an answer for what he was suffering.  He
told the Lord he would try finding the answer one more time and
went home.

     sitting in front of his computer, he typed in a search
command.  My website came up.  My phone rang soon there after.

     George and I have been buddies now for the last 18 months.
We have prayed together, laughed together, discussed the
Scriptures together, and even cried together.  You see, his 23
year old daughter was soon to die.  From 3 months of age, they
were told that their daughter had cystic fibrosis.  She did well
until she turned 20 years old.  Then, her relationship with the
Lord began to spiritually decay and so did her physical body.

     Last December first, she was transported once again to the
hospital 110 miles from their home.  Her mother and father stayed
with her every minute of the nearly next 6 months.  They watched
her slowly die, struggling for breath, and did everything in their
power, including believing and speaking life in the name of Jesus,
in order to see her healed.  She died.

     A couple of days before Jennifer's death, I was praying for
her and her family.  I remember saying to the Lord at that time,
"Lord, I am 53 years old.  Jennifer is only 23 years old.  I'll
gladly exchange my 53 years for her 23 years.  Let her live,
Father, and take my life in exchange for her's."

     Then I heard his voice.  "You don't need to give your life
for her's because I already have."

     Did this make her death any easier for me or especially for
her parents?  Of course not.  It was truth, however, and truth
sets us free according to John 8:32, and that is why Jennifer went
to Heaven.  You see, Jesus does not need us to save anyone; He
wants us to live to serve others.  Our responsibility is to live,
that is, live in Him so He can live in us and in those whom have
called upon His name to be born again.

Phil C Sharp
The Coil Of The snake
A Free Online E-Novel
www.SafePlaceFellowship.com