I remember a few years back. I was engrossed in transcribing some sermons
for our pastor's book project, and right in the middle of a totally
different topic altogether, the Lord answered a question I had been asking
him concerning my life.  I had been asking, "Lord, what is it you want me
to do, what is your purpose for me here". I had been seeking just what my
purpose was, what god's plan was for my life. Then, right in mid-sentence,
mid-thought, fingers slapping the keys and mind totally wrapped up in a
separate thought, nearly audibly, and if I didn't know better I'd have
thought it was, but although it was very clear, very pronounced, I heard
no voice from my physical ear. But right in the midst of this project I
heard, "Help my people understand". I immediately stopped my typing and a
chill went down my back in realization that God, the creator of all, God
of this Earth and maker of all, just spoke to me personally. I knew that I
knew that I knew that was him, and not just a creation of my own thoughts
or a bad pickle for lunch. I thought. "Lord? Understand what? What do you
mean? Tell me more, talk to me Lord, talk to me!"  But I heard no more. I
suspect he wanted me to search that out for myself. unfortunately I feel
I've not obeyed him as I should in that regard, not forgotten it, but
perhaps the timing isn't just right, or I am in  a prep stage and don't
realize it.  To this day I haven't gotten a clear direction on that, other
than the obvious of helping others to see his work or word and its
understanding, but of course I must have it myself to help others and so
he is not yet finished with me I suspect.  Now, the point of hearing God's
voice has little to do with that incident's topic, or that particular
message from God other than he speaks in different ways. There has been
times when although it couldn't be explained, you just know and you know
that you know that you know something needs doing and so you do it. Some
months ago I was determined and even told others I'd attend a vending
conference in Denver. Made all the arrangements to go minus the hotel and
flight. Had even planned on dropping in on ole Phil and break bread, have
a time of prayer and etc. Was all jazzed about going, but yet something
told me no. I said is it the money in volved in going? At first that was
my answer, but then I realized that if I really were to go, it would work
out financially. Once past that I still had this nagging pull every time I
was about to make hotel and flight reservations. I just could not do it.
I'd go to pick up the phone, or get online to do it, and I couldn't do it.
This week, tomorrow in fact, I am planning to make arrangements to get
back over to my parents during this surgical recovery time for my mom. At
first I thought my mom wouldn't want anyone around when she is not feeling
well, there is pride there, and also not wanting to be a bother to anyone.
But when I told her earlier that I was planning on coming over, that I
felt I should have been there during the surgery but couldn't do it, but
plan to be there tomorrow, she, yet in a groggy, painful state, was happy
to hear that. They basically live there by themselves with no other
relation around other than two nephews of mine, grandkids of theirs who
really are off doing their own thing and rarely communicate, with
exception of one who is now a parent them self and getting older. I now
know why God held me back from making that trip, he wanted me to be with
my parents during this time. Even though it isn't a life threatening
operation, any operation is risky at 65 and having a history of blood
pressure issues during such, but more so I think is for them to just know
someone cares enough to inconvenience themselves to spend time with them.
They would never ask, but just the fact one shows up makes them elated
without showing it outwardly. Perhaps God has more in store for this time
with them than even that, but I do believe this little lesson in hearing
his still small, but powerful voice in my not attending that conference
this week despite my desire to go, may yet be a primer for me to hear him
on another matter down the road. In fact, I believe with as much
assuredness as I did in not attending this conference this week, that this
is a warmer up for a much more important directional change in life, or to
brace me  to walk close to him for a rough road ahead. I haven't figured
out which yet. I'm feeling a directional change but who knows. Point
being, take these times of when you feel God's tugging, and remember them,
remember what that feels like, what intensity you feel, and despite what
is going on around you, or what plans you've made, follow that inner voice
that is guiding you, and you will then see why it is he's led you to where
he has. Each time you do this it is a deeper sense of following god, not
necessarily easier, but one can do it with more assuredness and faith
knowing he is in control.


Brad