ECHURCH-USA Archives

The Electronic Church

ECHURCH-USA@LISTSERV.ICORS.ORG

Options: Use Forum View

Use Monospaced Font
Show Text Part by Default
Condense Mail Headers

Message: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]
Topic: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]
Author: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]

Print Reply
Sender:
Echurch-USA The Electronic Church <[log in to unmask]>
X-To:
gramsmel <[log in to unmask]>, thomasrmelton <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sat, 5 Feb 2005 19:24:58 -0700
Reply-To:
Echurch-USA The Electronic Church <[log in to unmask]>
Subject:
MIME-Version:
1.0
Content-Transfer-Encoding:
7bit
Content-Type:
text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
From:
JULIE MELTON <[log in to unmask]>
Parts/Attachments:
text/plain (72 lines)
The Resume of Jesus Christ

Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone: Romans 10:13
Website: The Bible. Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus

Hello. My name is Jesus -The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've sent you my
resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart.
Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.

Qualifications
       I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)
       I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)
       I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)
       I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)
       The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through
       me, (See Galatians 3:14)

Occupational Background
       I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
       I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or
       disrespectful.
       My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew
       3:15-17)

Skills Work Experiences
       Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor
       to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives
       free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at
       liberty them that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
       I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to
       me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
       Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse
       you of your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)

Educational Background
       I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and
       understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
       In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See
       Colossians 2:3).
       My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto
       your feet and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).
       I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms
       44:21).

Major Accomplishments
       I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all
       times, (See Genesis 1:26).
       I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15).
       I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them
       openly, (See Colossians 2:15).
       I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!
       There are many more major accomplishments, to many to mention here.
       You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the
       BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access
       my website.

References
       Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine
       healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and
       supernatural guidance

In Summation
Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate
uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In
summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and
lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is
of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).

Send this resume to everyone you know, you never know who may have an
opening! Thanks for your help and may God bless you!

ATOM RSS1 RSS2