Here is the latest version of what I wrote about Jennifer's passing and what
the Lord said to me about it.

I Tried To Die


                         By Phil Scovell




     I met George a year and a half ago.  He had taken his gun up
into the hills near his home in Oklahoma one day to end his life.
He was a born again Christian but the depression and anxiety
attacks just were no longer bearable.  As he sat and tried to
generate enough courage to pull the trigger, his mind tried to
understand how he had gotten to this point.  After a few minutes,
he told the Lord that he just refused to believe that the God of
the universe, the Creator of all things, didn't have an answer for
what he was suffering.  He told the Lord he would try finding the
answer one more time and went home.

     sitting in front of his computer, he typed in a search
command.  My website came up and my phone rang soon thereafter.

     George and I have been buddies now for the last 18 months.
We have prayed together, laughed together, discussed and studied
the Scriptures together, and even cried together.  You see, his 23
year old daughter was soon to die.

     From 3 months of age, they were told that their daughter had
cystic fibrosis.  She did fairly well until she turned 20 years of
age.  Then, her relationship with the Lord began to spiritually
decline and so did her physical body.

     For the last time in her young life, she was transported to
the hospital 110 miles from her home.  Her mother and father
stayed with her every minute of the nearly 6 months which
followed.  They watched her life slowly ebb away, as she struggled
for breath, while at the same time, doing everything in their
power, including believing and speaking life in the name of Jesus,
in order to see her healed.  She died.

     A couple of days before Jennifer's death, I was praying for
her and her family.  I remember saying to the Lord at that time,
"Lord, I am 53 years old.  Jennifer is only 23 years old.  I'll
gladly exchange my 53 years for her 23 years.  Let her live,
Father, and take my life in exchange for her's."  I was not
joking; I meant every word I said.

     Then I heard His voice.  "You don't need to give your life
for her's.  I already have."

     Did this make her death any easier for me?  How about her
parents?  Of course not.  It was truth, however, and truth sets us
free according to John 8:32, and that is why Jennifer went to
Heaven.  You see, Jesus does not need us to save anyone; He wants
us to live with Him as the Lord of our life.   Our responsibility
is to live, that is, live in Him so He can live in us and in those
whom have called upon His name to be born again.

     During the week following her death, I was thinking about my
offer and what the Lord had said to me that He had already given
His life for her's.  In my offer, I had requested two things if I
were to give my life for Jennifer's.  First, the Lord would have
to heal her and give her a long life.  Secondly, she would have to
live for God throughout the balance of her life on earth.  Once
again, I heard the Holy Spirit speaking.  "You have parameters and
limitations but Jesus made no such requests when He died.  He gave
his life willingly, while at the same time, knowing that many
would come to Him to be born again but then would live their own
life their own way."

     I was greatly humbled by what I heard in my spirit.  It was
true.  Jesus did give Himself for us and made no deals.  He knew
some would receive Him as Savior for the forgiveness of their sins
but not claim Him as the Lord of their life.  Yet he died and was
bodily resurrected, regardless and irrespective of what we would
do with His Lordship.

     So in honor of a young woman's life, I ask you, are you
saved?  Are you born again?  Are your sins forgiven?  Are you
going to meat my young friend, Jennifer, who is walking with the
Lord in Heaven now?  Have you submitted yourself to the Lord Jesus
Christ, confessing you are a sinner and cannot save yourself, and
asking Him to be your Savior?  If so, Has He become the Lord of
your life and of every situation you face?  Do you even know how
to allow Him to be the Lord of your life?  If not, call me and
let's talk.

Phil C Sharp
The Coil Of The snake
A Free Online E-Novel
www.SafePlaceFellowship.com