Meka,

So very glad to have you back posting again.  I've missed you.  Sledding
through some of life's curves gets confusing and difficult.  But remember
that the Lord is with you all along.  He wants the very best for you.  In
fact, his banner over you is love.

Vicki





----- Original Message -----
From: "Tomeka White" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, September 17, 2004 7:16 PM
Subject: precious Echurch family


> Hello, everyone:
>
> Well, life has certainly been interesting, full of ups and downs, twists
and
> turns.  Firstly, let me apologize for my very long hiaitis from the list,
> and truthfullly, from any form of communication.  I caught up with some
mail
> and I guess I'd better set a few facts straight.
>
> Firstly, I would never blacklist anyone for good, sound advice given in
> genuine love.  I don't operate that way, nor will I ever do so.  I have
been
> on this list for quite a while and have cherished the advice given from my
> echurch family.
>
> Secondly, no, I'm not married.  Alex and I had talked about marriage and
had
> gotten way ahead of ourselves.  I was supposed to go to England this
summer,
> but that sort of got canceled due to my breaking up with Alex!  He still
> wanted to be friends and come out here in July, which I allowed.  It
> solidified my reasons for breaking up with him.  He's a nice guy, but
things
> were going too fast.  When we broke up, he said such things as "oh yes,
well
> go ahead and have sex with other guys', or 'I don't understand why you
won't
> have sex with me, you're the kind of girl that likes it casual'.  He said
> some of these things while at my house, and I should have kicked him out,
> but I wanted to be welcoming and warm.  But there is truly a difference
> between being a good hostess and being a doormat for verbal abuse.  As he
> left, I told him that he was no longer welcome here if all he could do was
> insult me.  Friends do not actively seek to hurt each other, and I don't
> have to deal with that. I get that enough from my father, I certainly
don't
> have to take it from this guy.   In other news, I just had someone here to
> visit and I suppose we are dating, but this time slow and steady wins the
> race.  I'm in no rush to play relationship volleyball.  It's tiring, and
I'm
> ready to pick up my toys and go home.  *grin*
>
> I am no longer in school.  I believe that I should be getting a job, as my
> most immediate needs are financial.  I have to be motivated to do it, and
I
> am also afraid.  But I know that whatever I do, I'll work hard to make
sure
> that it goes to fruition and that I do a good job.
>
> I suppose I should talk about what's happening with me spiritually.  This
> won't be easy, but I am a candid person.  I stopped going to church
> regularly around January or so.  I know this is going to sound as though I
> am some kind of know-it all, but I don't mean for it to by any means.  Our
> church is a fairly large church.  I was involved with the choir for quite
> some time.  Once I slipped away from that, I slipped away from everything
> else too.  I wasn't feeling at home there, but that was probably because I
> wasn't going there to feel at home.  And the longer you stay away, the
> harder it is to come back.  I see so many programs within the church, we
are
> apparently bridging from 40 days of purpose to something else that is new
> and different and exciting.  I have told myself that I'm going to go this
> sunday and rejoin the choir.  The choir is like a family within the
family,
> and much happens during the rehearsals.  I know that I am responsible for
my
> walk with God, but it feels like I have no energy to put in to it.  I have
> been praying and I know and recognize the need for God  to be the central
> focus of my life, but I suppose I wonder why that has to be in a church
> setting.
>
> To be quite honest, I wish we could be more like the new testament
churches
> that met in homes.  That would be the ideal church or setting for me. I do
> not pretend that there is a perfect church, there isn't.  I may not even
be
> explaining my situation.  These are honest thoughts, not excuses.
>
> Lexus is doing well, after quite the scare at the ACB convention where he
> was passing blood in his stool.  He then lost about fourteen pounds and in
> August, he was passing a lot of blood.  That seems to be rectified now,
and
> he is on the mend, thank the lord!
>
> I look forward to being a more active participant on the list.  I am sorry
> if you all were worried.  I love you all.
>
> Hugs,
> Meka