Carnival Cruise

We at Carnival Cruise Lines have not forgotten that many entertainers who
promised to leave the country four years ago if George W.Bush was elected
President are still in the country.

With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep
their promise now that President Bush has been re-elected!

Attention: Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her
"wife", Ed Asner, Janneane Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael
Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner(apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara
Streisand, Jane Fonda, and the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone
else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to
Florida
for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation,"
which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in
Afghanistan.

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq or some similar sunny
location.

The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell
Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties
prior to your cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay... at least FOUR MORE YEARS.

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, John Edwards as cruise
director, and Gray Davis, as Purser (the guy in charge of managing the money).
"Teh-RAY-sah" Heinz Kerry hopefully will be shoved somewhere below decks away from
the media.

Monica Lewinsky will be the "Cigar and Cigarette
Girl". Entertainment will be provided by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce
Springsteen, and movies will be shown each evening by Michael Moore.

John Kerry will be our Life Guard based on his past experience of pulling
people out of the water. He is also in charge of games and has eliminated
"shuffleboard" in favor of his new game he calls "waffleboard". Be sure to pack your
flip flops as you will need them while playing.

Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and back-up Life Guard. He only
qualifies as back-up Life Guard since his experience in rescuing people from drowning
has not been too successful.

Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will provide
inspirational services, and Al Franken will give
inspirational talks each afternoon.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends
and loved ones, please contact Senator Hillary Clinton. Her "village" can raise
your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and
your furnishings until you return.

"Bon Voyage!"






> late breaking story: john kerry put in for another purple heart for the ass
> kicking he took last week in the election. the electoral college will be
> issuing this one.
>




Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.