Here is some red neck church humor.

Text of forwarded message follows:

>Subject: Redneck Church
>
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee
>refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none
>of the members knows how to play one.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people ask, when they
>learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or
>catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... when the pastor says,
>"I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two
>women stand up.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... opening day of deer
>season is recognized as an official church holiday.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the church
>requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't
>never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known as
>the "OK Chorale".
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of
>500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is referred to
>as "branding".
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ
>set the dogs on the floor to howling.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people think "rapture"
>is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a
>#2 galvanized washtub.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes were
>donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection plates
>are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
>
>You Know You r Church Is A Redneck Church if... instead of a bell, you
>are called to service by a duck call.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and his
>wife drive matching pickup trucks.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the communion wine is
>Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou shalt not covet"
>applies to huntin' dogs, too.
>
>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of the
>benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah"
>
>God Bless
>and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!!!
End of forwarded message text:

John

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