You weren't  ungreatful! just hurt, honest feelings aren't sonmething
you need feel sorry for.  I am so glad that we can be honest with God,
He is big enough that He is not threatened by our honest feelings, our
anger, our doubt, and our confusion.
It was just something you had to work through, and God helped you.
I am glad you are back, and  that God gave you support while you were
gone.  And as I like to say, Life is still hard, but God is still good.

Love in
Christ,

Rhonda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jenifer Barr" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 7:11 AM
Subject: Update on me.


> Hi Everyone.  *warning*  This may be a little lengthy... so if you
don't
> want to read it... feel free to press the delete key.
>
> I left arkansas on october 23rd and arrived at my new apartment late
that
> night.  I was so blessed in that my mom and others had it all set up
for me
> before i arrived.  I mean... everything was in place... from furniture
to
> potholders!
>
> God was so present with me in arkansas.  I felt so alone sometimes,
but He
> always was their to hold and comfort me.  My dad's death was the worse
thing
> i could imagine, but i have a father God that loves me and will never
leave
> me.  I don't have peace about Dad's death... meaning I don't know if
I'll
> see him again in heaven, but i know God is just and true.  Dad never
> rejected the Gospel, he was saved before he went in to the army, but
walked
> away after.  I don't know if I believe in once saved always saved... I
want
> to... every part of me wants to... but I don't want to believe
something
> false.  Dad never rejected the gospel when I knew him... always
allowed
> people to pray... took me to church.
>
> I made so many life-long friends in Arkansas in the short time I was
their.
> Some believers that I know God put in my path to support and help me
through
> that time, and some non-believers who i pray for daily.  I thank God
for His
> love, mercy, grace, and loyalty.  No matter how far we stray... how
far we
> want to run... he pulls us back.  It's like a rubberband... he lets us
go so
> far... then snaps us back.  After my dad died... I knew i had two
choices.
> Run away from the One i knew would never run away from me... or cling
to Him
> like a life-raft.  I chose the later.  It may not seem like it
sometimes,
> but I know the Lord is my only Salvation... not the sleeping Pills i
had to
> start to take... not the nonbelieving boyfriend i had after dad's
death...
> nothing.
>
> The man who hit my dad got one year probation.  His liscense revoked
for
> that year, and if he violates any of it... six months in jail.  I was
upset
> at first, but i realized... with Gods help... this man is going
through more
> guilt than I could ever imagine.  I pray for him also.  I pray that
God
> gives me the privilege to meet or talk to him somehow and pray for
him.  I
> know it's only God that's giving me this desire, because I couldn't do
it in
> myself.
>
> I truely thank you all for praying for me during my absense.  I love
you
> all.  I'm glad to be back.  Please accept my sencere appology for
being an
> ungreatful brat before I left the last time.  God is good... all the
time!
> Jenifer Barr
>
> "I can do all things through Christ who strengthins me."
> Phil 4:13
>
> Email:
> [log in to unmask]
> Aim:
> jenibear1998
> MSNIM (no email):
> [log in to unmask]