LOL, John, especially funny to those of us who have lived amongst them, and
loved them in the Lord!

Helen

Earlier, John Schwery wrote:
>Here is some red neck church humor.
>
>Text of forwarded message follows:
>
> >Subject: Redneck Church
> >
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee
> >refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none
> >of the members knows how to play one.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people ask, when they
> >learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or
> >catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... when the pastor says,
> >"I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two
> >women stand up.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... opening day of deer
> >season is recognized as an official church holiday.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the church
> >requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't
> >never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known as
> >the "OK Chorale".
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of
> >500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is referred to
> >as "branding".
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ
> >set the dogs on the floor to howling.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people think "rapture"
> >is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a
> >#2 galvanized washtub.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes were
> >donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection plates
> >are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
> >
> >You Know You r Church Is A Redneck Church if... instead of a bell, you
> >are called to service by a duck call.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and his
> >wife drive matching pickup trucks.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the communion wine is
> >Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou shalt not covet"
> >applies to huntin' dogs, too.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of the
> >benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah"
> >
> >God Bless
> >and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!!!
>End of forwarded message text:
>
>John
>
>    Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic