Phil, this is sad it reminds me too much of my sister and it hurts.  Not
your posting it you understand but the fact of the matter.

Lelia hoping that made sense.


----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2003 10:03 PM
Subject: How Life Has Changed


> I know I am getting old, I mean, older, but regardless, things have
> certainly changed.  The only people I knew growing up with tattoos were
> those men who had been in World War Two.  We only had one couple in the
> neighborhood who was divorced and nobody talked about it either.  There
were
> a couple of people in our neighborhood who smoked cigarettes but that was
> all.  I can remember one or two times our parents went some place and
hired
> a baby sitter to watch my sister and I at home.  Otherwise, we always went
> with our parents no matter where they went.  My father did not believe in
> eating in a restaurant on Sundays and we never did nor was I allowed to
play
> on Sundays with any of my friends except rarely.  So, I pretty much lived
a
> sheltered life I guess.  When Sandy and I married, we didn't have the same
> Sunday rules for our children and we ate out often.  However, I can only
> think of two times we allowed others to watch our children while we went
> some place without them and both times were disasters.  Otherwise, if
where
> we were going, our kids couldn't come along, we simply did not go.  Some
> time ago, a friend of mine, a very close friend of mine, was lecturing
Sandy
> and I on how to raise our children.  The kids were young but Gretchen
began
> giving us trouble when she was very young and it got progressively worse
as
> she grew older.  this friend of mind was divorced and had three children.
> He helped his X wife out financially but she made better money than he
did.
> He kept in touch with his kids and always tried to pick them up for church
> on Sunday.  During his lecture on how we should be better parents, I
calmly
> pointed out to him that he was really a part time parent because his kids
> lived with their mom.  He, on the other hand, came and went as he pleased.
> He admitted he had never looked at it that way and that I was right.  I
> wasn't criticizing him, you understand, but I was pointing out that we
lived
> with our children 24 seven, as they say, and it was different.  He agreed.
> I have been thinking of this recently because of our daughter.  She shows
up
> for an hour or two each day and normally calls once a day to talk to her
> kids.  Otherwise, that's it.  Today she left, after not much more than an
> hour being with her 4 year old, and walked to the bus stop which is almost
> in front of our house.  Little Taylor ran to the door and told me he
wanted
> to tell his mom something so I let him.  He opened the door and pushed
open
> the storm glass door and called out for his mom.  She answered him and he
> said, "I love you."  I almost began crying.  His voice was sad because his
> mom was leaving him.  I played with him and wrestled with him for awhile
> after she left but playing with your grandpa isn't the same as your mom
> being home.  I thank God that every time I came home from school,
regardless
> of the time of day, my mom was always there.  I can never remember a time
> she wasn't at home when I walked into the house.  I don't care how poor
you
> are or how little you have, if you have children, they want you more than
> anything else.  I was also thinking recently of gifts because of the
season.
> The best gift my father ever gave me was a wooden airplane he cut on the
> table saw and nailed together all in about two minutes.  I loved that
plane
> and played with it until I wore it out.  I have told my daughter she is
less
> than a part time parent now but the drugs and alcohol have already
deadened
> her reasoning ability.  Today, when her son called out to her and told her
> he loved her, if it had been me, my heart would of melted and I would have
> come back into the house and promised God and the president and the
governor
> and the mayor and anybody else I could think of that my kids were going to
> come first no matter what.  My daughter needs a lot of prayer because her
> drugs and alcohol and friends have become more important to her than her
own
> boys.
>
> Phil.
>