----- Original Message -----
From: "R.L. Johnson" <[log in to unmask]>
To: "ccnn" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 21, 2004 11:39 AM
Subject: [CCNN] Why we love kids


> Why we love kids
>
>
>
> NUDITY
>
> I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
> woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
> naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
the
> back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
>
> HONESTY
>
> My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
> dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in
the
> garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom
> and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
> little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in
the
> toilet a few days ago.
>
>
> OPINIONS
>
> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from
> his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
> necessarily those of his parents."
>
>
> KETCHUP
>
> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During
> her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
> the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then
> she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
> hitting the bottle."
>
> MORE NUDITY
> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
> room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing
> towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
> asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
>
> POLICE # 1
> While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
> interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my
> uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
writing
> the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.
> Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as
> she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
>
> POLICE # 2
> It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
> station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
and
> I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?"
he
> asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
> towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
>
> ELDERLY
> While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins,
> I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.  The various
> appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs,
> unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false
> teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of
> questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never
> believe this!"
>
>
> DRESS-UP
> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
> dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
> "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the
> next morning."
>
>
> DEATH
> While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard
> the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.  Apparently,
his
> 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.  Feeling that
> proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton
> batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
> The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
> sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always
> said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ..... and into the
> hole he gooooes."
>
> SCHOOL
> A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting
> my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
> won't let me talk!"
>
>
> BIBLE
> A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
> through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
picked
> up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
> pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
> out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's
> voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------
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> -------------------------------------------
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