Here is a cute but sad and true, forward.
>>Hi all. Penny sent this to me, and I thought I'd share it.
>> >> CHURCHES ARE SPREADING MAD COW DISEASE
>> >> By Coach Dave Doubenmire
>> >> January 8, 2004
>> >> NewsWithViews.com
>> >> What is all of the fuss about? Mad cow disease is nothing new. It
>> >has been poisoning America for years.
>> >> It is an insidious disease, scientists tell us, attacking the
>> >central nervous system. The results are not immediate, sometimes
>> >taking years to manifest, but the results are devastating. It
>> >slowly hinders ones ability to think, leading eventually to
>> >dementia and the total loss of the power to reason.
>> >> "Is our meat supply safe?" the headlines ask. Can you trust
>> >Wendy's and McDonalds? Can you be sure that the meat at your local
>> >grocery is not tainted? Just to be safe, maybe it would be wise to
>> >stop eating meat. >
>> >> Perhaps we should ask pastors the same questions. Is the meat
>> >they are serving us safe?
>> >> The Church, for generations the central nervous system of America,
>> >has been ravaged by Mad Cow. Once the safe-guard of our nation, she
>> >has lost her ability to reason. How else can you explain the
>> >inability to distinguish those who are churched from those who are
>> >not? Dementia is running rampant because we have been fed a
>> >contaminated Gospel. >
>> >> Hebrews 5-14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full
>> >age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to
>> >discern both good and evil.
>> >> The disease infected us quietly. Despite the firm warning of some
>> >of our veteran chefs, our seminaries were turning out a new breed
>> >of cooks, with fancy recipes for a new casserole. It looked good,
>> >it tasted fine, and it appeared to have no negative effects on
>> >those who ate it. America, we were told, was ready for a new dish,
>> >one that could be easily prepared in the micro wave, and we liked
>> >this new chef. He seemed like such a nice man. Certainly he would
>> >not give us tainted food. >
>> >> Many pastors were leery at first, holding fast to older, proven
>> >methods, warning about the dangers of feeding people this rotten
>> >flesh. But gradually, as they began to watch those short-order
>> >cooks who served this meat grow larger churches, the temptation
>> >became too great. This new, improved hamburger helper, flavored not
>> >with salt, but with the spices of diversity and tolerance, looked
>> >and smelled the same. But it was easier to digest than the food the
>> >pastors use to serve and it required almost no chewing. Seven
>> >course meals were out and fast food was in. Three points and a poem
>> >replaced fire and brimstone. >
>> >> "Feed my sheep", Jesus said. So the churches did. The new,
>> >seeker-friendly menu was great for business. The cafeteria was full,
>> >and more customers were coming every week. A generation starving
>> >for spiritual nourishment was being spoon fed poison meat.
>> >> Consider the entrees these enlightened chefs served.
>> >> "Jesus loves you in spite of your sin. He will be your best buddy"
>> >> "Divorce is okay because God wants you to be happy"
>> >> "Jesus died to deliver you from poverty. He wants you rich"
>> >> "God made you gay. He loves you and so do we"
>> >> "Abortion isn't murder. It is a difficult choice between a woman
>> >and her Dr."
>> >> "Open hearts, open doors, open minds"
>> >> "Who are you to judge?"
>> >> "All religions are the same. People just have different names for
>> >God." >
>> >> Sort of makes your stomach growl, doesn't it?
>> >> Pardon my cold-heartedness PETA, but the chickens have come home
>> >to roost. >
>> >> Someone call the FDA! Some pastors are spreading Mad Cow disease
>> >and America is losing her mind!
>> >> Check the symptoms. Gays want to marry and churches bless the
>> >union. In fact, we now have gays offering the sacraments. MOO!
>> >> Fifty percent of all Christian marriages end in divorce and the
>> >Church crows about defending the sanctity of that union. MOO!
>> >> We have condoms to prevent disease and abortion to prevent
>> >children. MOO! >
>> >> We educate our kids in Godless schools but rave about their sports
>> >program. MOO!
>> >> But why worry? Our attendance is up and so is the Dow. Things are
>> >looking better.
>> >> Mad Cow has taken over. We are losing our minds.
>> >> In the area where I live Amish food is gaining popularity.
>> >Restaurants serving "Home-style cooking" have customers standing in
>> >line. Sick of fast food and microwave dinners Americans are finding
>> >something of value in the old ways of cooking. It has a more
>> >lasting taste, and as Grandma used to say, it "sticks to your ribs".
>> >> We need a new diet. The time has come when pastors must feed the
>> >flock something that "sticks to the ribs". Years of greasy Grace
>> >have lead to a dazzling showcase but an empty stockroom. Rewrite
>> >the menu and include some old family basics.
>> >> "The soul that sins, it shall die"
>> >> "God hates the workers of iniquity".
>> >> "In righteousness He doth judge and make war."
>> >> "Be not deceived for God is not mocked. For whatsoever a man sows,
>> >that also shall he reap."
>> >> "Be ye Holy, for I am Holy".
>> >> Alexis de Tocqueville is credited with having said:
>> >> "I sought for the key to the greatness and genius of America in
>> >her harbors.in her fertile fields and boundless forests; in her
>> >rich mines and vast world commerce; in her public school system and
>> >institutions of learning. I sought for it in her democratic
>> >Congress and matchless Constitution. Not until I went into the
>> >churches of America and heard her pulpits aflame with righteousness
>> >did I understand the secret of her genius and power. America is
>> >great because America is Good, and if America ever ceases to be
>> >good America will cease to be great." >
>> >> Any nutritionists will tell you "You are what you eat." America,
>> >look in the mirror. Do you like what you see?
>> >> Moo!
>> >> © 2004 - Dave Doubenmire - All Rights Reserved
>> >>
>> >--------------------------------------------------------------------
>> >------ ------ >
>> >> Coach Dave Daubenmire hosts a talk show called Pass The Salt
>> >heard on The Word 880am WRFD in Columbus, Ohio. A former high
>> >school football coach sued by the ACLU in 1999 for praying with his
>> >football team, Coach Daubenmire is President of Pass The Salt
>> >Ministries www.ptsalt.com and Minutemen United www.minutemenunited.
>> >org, which are dedicated to standing for Christian values in the
>> >Public arena. Coach can be contacted at [log in to unmask] >
>> >>
>> >--------------------------------------------------------------------
>> >------ ------ >
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>> >> ---------------------------------------------
>> >> In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section
>> >> 107, any copyrighted work in this message
>> >> is distributed under fair use without profit
>> >> or payment for non-profit research and educational purposes only.
>> >> www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml
>> >> -------------------------------------------
>> >> Under Bill S.1618 TITLE III passed by
>> >> the 105th U.S. Congress this letter
>> >> cannot be considered "spam" as long
>> >> as it includes:
>> >> 1) contact information and,
>> >> 2) the way to be removed from future mailings
>> >> Yahoo! Groups Links
>> >> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ccnn/
>> >> [log in to unmask]
>> >> http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>>
>>PENNY GOLDEN
>>[log in to unmask]
>
>
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John
I'm going crazy. Wanna come along ?
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