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First, many thanks to all who responded.  Your support, advice and loving suggestions were greatly appreciated.  I was so overwhelmed by everyone's compassion that I had a much needed cry as I read all of the emails.  I did not realize how stressed I was over this and how much I needed the encouragement of others who have walked this journey before me.  I am in your debt.  Not only was the support fabulous, but so was the advice.  I know it will benefit many of you so I will list them all.

I currently practiced the following methods of protection for my son prior to my email.

*I prepare all GF meals that we eat as a family.  My husband and I usually only eat Gluten containing food at lunchtime on weekends.
*The only gluten containing products we have are a loaf of wheat bread and soups
*separate condiments(squeezable) and butter
* There are no Gluten flours of any kind in our home
*separate toaster
*separate storage for our Gluten containing products (on top of the fridge)
*separate sponges for washing
*everything goes through the dishwasher
*every utensil goes in the sink after use
*all surfaces are washed multiple times a day
*no play dough

I received approx. 35 responses.

                    4- mailed advice, but made no mention of their kitchen status
                    5- completely Gluten Free kitchen as a family
                    2- advised that my son's flare-ups may not be food or cross-contamination, but simply that he needs more time to heal.  They offered this advice based on personal experience.
                    3- were formerly mixed but now Gluten free kitchens for varied reasons
                    1- advised me to consult Delphiforums for more info
                    20- maintained a mixed (gluten and GF products and kitchen practices) kitchen

The following were the methods practiced by mixed kitchens that work for them:

1.The following separate items:
toaster
condiments (squeeze bottles were suggested by many- available for Peanut Butter, Jelly, Mayo, mustard etc)
utensils
cookware - (most warn against coated non-stick Teflon, calcphalon types)
baking pans
eating table
microwave
butter dish
cutting boards
bread machine
waffle maker
mixer

2. Line cookie sheets with foil or parchment paper
3.  Wipe down counters and tables repeatedly throughout the day following food preparations
4.  Wash hands after handling dry pet food
5.  When making two separate meals for your mixed family, always prepare and cook Gluten free items first
6.  Dishwasher Guidelines:
        *  use a good washer
        *  empty bottom of washer first, this will keep any stuff on top of glasses from spilling on to dishes from top shelf
        *  Use high quality dish detergent
        *  pre-rinse all dishes really well before putting in dishwasher
        *  use high heat setting on dishwasher
        *  as dishwasher maintenance, run the dishwasher empty with CLR to clean it well.
        *  run two separate loads as opposed to over filling the washer for one load.
7.  When a utensil is used put it immediately in the sink, then it is less likely to be used again on something it shouldn't be used on.
        **  if ever in doubt, wash it, don't use it.
8.  Best not to use iron skillets for both food preparations.
9. How can you trust friend's and family's cookware if you can't trust your own. (good food for thought there)
10.  Have a gluten free counter,  mark it with a sign
11.  If you have little ones, wash your floor very often.  Make it a part of your meal clean up routine.
12.  Watch out for dish towels.  Be aware of what you wipe on them and then what you wipe with that same towel.  People suggest washing them at the end of every day
Wash hands in between handling gluten foods and gluten free foods.
13.  Beware of kissing someone with gluten containing lipstick on
14.  Beware of kids art supplies.  Play dough and some crayons are no-no's
15. Split your stove down the middle.  Use one side to cook gluten foods and the other for GF foods
16.  Keep Gluten free foods or vice versa in separate cupboards, drawers, or storage compartments
17.  Color code your utensils.  Use black utensils for gluten foods and white for GF foods
18. Wash doorknobs and appliance handles regularly
19. Use stickers to put on items that are gluten free or not gluten free.  Color coding might work well her, also.  You could even fashion some on the computer and print them out. Kind of like the "Mr. Yuck" stickers used to put on poisonous items in the seventies and eighties.
20.  Use rubber gloves when handling gluten containing foods.

These were all made as loving suggestions from  all types of Celiac homes.  Some were a one Celiac with several non-celiacs, some were a mostly celiac family  with one non-celiac member, some were just married couples where one person was Celiac.  I hope this is helpful to you as it has been to me.  Use what will work for you.  Several of these suggestions were made by people who were admittedly more sensitive to gluten than others.  Do not feel like you have to be doing all of these things in order to be "doing it right"   A person also advised that it was determined that 20% of mainstream products that claim to be gluten free were found not to be.  So, if you have a reaction it is good to stop the consumption of processed foods that are supposedly gluten free.  This did not refer to specialty gluten-free items made in strict gluten free manufacturing facilities.

 I have found this to be true.  My son has had reactions in the past and we have cut back to very whole foods meals and he clears up.  We have had a lot of bad luck with Cool Ranch Doritos.

This was long but hopefully helpful,

Melissa

*Support summarization of posts, reply to the SENDER not the Celiac List*