Thats interesting. I like that.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ceesay, Soffie" <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Thursday, January 15, 2004 2:33 pm
Subject: FW: JOB DESCRIPTION
> How many of us would have applied? Hilarious.
>
> Soffie
>
>
> POSITION:
> Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy
>
> JOB DESCRIPTION:
> Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent
> work in
> an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess
> excellent communication and organizational skills and be
> willing to work
> variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and
> frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel
> required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
> rainy weekends and
> endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel
> expenses not
> reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
>
> RESPONSIBILITIES:
> The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
> temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to
> bite tongue
> repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
> pack mule
> and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
> in case,
> this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone
> just crying
> wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical
> challenges, such
> as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck
> zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
> coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must
> have ability to plan
> and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and
> mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one
> minute, an
> embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety
> testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery
> operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be
> prepared for the
> worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the
> quality of
> the end product. Responsibilities also include floor
> maintenance and
> janitorial work throughout the facility.
>
> POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
> Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for
> years, without complaining, constantly retraining and
> updating your
> skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
>
> PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
> None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
> continually exhausting basis.
>
> WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
> Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and
> bonuses. A
> balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
> assumption that college will help them become financially
> independent. When you
> die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about
> this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and
> wish you
> could only do more.
>
> BENEFITS:
> While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
> reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are
> offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for
> personal growth and
> free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
>
> Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for
> everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are
> appreciated.
>
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