Vinny, thanks for sharing this!  It's great, and I sure needed that humor
this morning.  The laughter felt so good.  smile

Helen


Earlier, vinny samarco wrote:
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "R.L. Johnson" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: "ccnn" <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Wednesday, January 21, 2004 11:39 AM
>Subject: [CCNN] Why we love kids
>
>
> > Why we love kids
> >
> >
> >
> > NUDITY
> >
> > I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
> > woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
> > naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
>the
> > back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
> >
> > HONESTY
> >
> > My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
> > dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in
>the
> > garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
>bathroom
> > and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
> > little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in
>the
> > toilet a few days ago.
> >
> >
> > OPINIONS
> >
> > On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from
> > his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
> > necessarily those of his parents."
> >
> >
> > KETCHUP
> >
> > A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During
> > her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
> > the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then
> > she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
> > hitting the bottle."
> >
> > MORE NUDITY
> > A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
> > room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
>grabbing
> > towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
> > asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
> >
> > POLICE # 1
> > While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
> > interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my
> > uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
>writing
> > the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.
> > Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as
> > she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
> >
> > POLICE # 2
> > It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
> > station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
>and
> > I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?"
>he
> > asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
> > towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
> >
> > ELDERLY
> > While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
>shut-ins,
> > I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.  The various
> > appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs,
> > unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false
> > teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of
> > questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never
> > believe this!"
> >
> >
> > DRESS-UP
> > A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
> > dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
> > "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the
> > next morning."
> >
> >
> > DEATH
> > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
>heard
> > the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.  Apparently,
>his
> > 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.  Feeling that
> > proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton
> > batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
> > The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
> > sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always
> > said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ..... and into the
> > hole he gooooes."
> >
> > SCHOOL
> > A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
>wasting
> > my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
> > won't let me talk!"
> >
> >
> > BIBLE
> > A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
> > through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
>picked
> > up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
> > pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
> > out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's
> > voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
> >
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------------------
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