It has taken me awhile to realize that the Almighty doesn't need me to
defend His power or love or healing power for others.  Unbelief, however, is
tremendously effective.  Even Jesus was stymied by the unbelief of others.
Read Mark 6:4-6.  I am no healer, of course, and I have no power except for
that of the Holy Spirit and his ministry to others.  It is time for a
change.  The Lord has been speaking to me about such in the background.  A
year ago, at the Lord's direction, I signed off all my mailing lists and
those I actually owned, I turned over to others.  I discontinued my
newsletter and the phone book files for the blind I had been editing for 9
years.  I dropped a number of website domains except for my personal website
called red white and blue dot org and the latest one I felt the Lord told me
to established which you all know is called safe place fellowship which just
so happens to be what we call our Friday night prayer meetings.  The other
four domains I dropped just recently.  I have even considered dropping my
personal website but am still thinking about that one.  I kept echurch
because I didn't feel I could give up my one Christian contact.  However,
new things are beginning to surface.  We are praying about starting a new
church where we can minister to people according to the Scriptures.  This is
currently in addition to our Friday night prayer meetings we have had in our
home for probably about a year now.  The Holy Spirit seems to be speaking to
me about things which require a dedicated focus.  I love the internet and
the communication with others all over the world.  I remember when I first
got on the internet.  When I was doing DOS tutorials, I was asked by the
Egyptian government to donate my tutorials to them so they could translate
them into Arabic which they would then, in turn, have someone read them back
on to tape.  This was for their computer lab they had established in Cairo
just for the blind.  I even got a letter from a general on the Egyptian
cabinet thanking me for helping them.  Later those same tapes were
translated into Spanish for South America blind students learning how to use
computers.  So, in short, it has been quite rewarding at times.  My life, as
most of you know, has radically changed in the last couple of years.  I have
been privileged to see the Lord do things that two years ago I never dreamed
I would witness.  Recently, I have felt I have not been focusing on things
spiritually as I should.  I love the internet and echurch in particular but
at the same time, it seems the Lord is telling me to focus on something
which would take me away from the realm of the internet.  As I said, I love
the internet and it is a wonderful tool but it is also a toy and perhaps a
toy I take too seriously.  I feel strongly about keeping safe place
fellowship dot com due to the nature of the site.  I hear from people, who
have dialed up the website through doing searches on search engines, who are
very hurting frightened people.  The Lord told me last summer, following an
hour of intercessory prayer, that this was who I am now.  I cannot change
that because somehow it is an answer to prayer.  It is my job, therefore, to
take the place of others in order that they might walk free.  It isn't easy
listening to the pain and fears and horrible experiences people have had in
the past as we pray together in order that the Lord might heal their
woundedness because I have the tendency to take things personally.  My
ministry takes me to places that are very painful for me to hear, yet it is
who I am.  I pray with suicides cases and with people who have tried suicide
as a way out.  I pray with people who still want to kill themselves.  I pray
with sexually abused people and rape victims.
 I pray with people who grew up being hated by their father and now live a
life of fear and doubts and sadness that defies human understanding.  I pray
with people who have lost loved ones and the grief has simply taken over
their life; causing them dysfunctionality in their adult life.  I pray with
people who live with horrible nightmares that keep them awake half the
night.  I pray with people who, in spite of what some may believe, are
afflicted with demons and are tormented.  I pray with people who have
multiple personalities due to the trauma they suffered as a child.  You
might think a person could get depressed themselves as a result of all this
but frankly, I have never been so happy because for once in my life, I know
I am walking free and doing the perfect will of God in my life.  There is no
greater joy than to be absolutely positive you are walking in God's perfect
will.  It is going to be very difficult for me to subtract myself from a
majority of my internet activities but now seems to be God's timing.  I
could be wrong, of course, and it wouldn't be the first time but these
thoughts have been bumping around in my spirit for a long time.
Additionally, the burden I carry for people when I hear the things they are
facing, sometimes gets pretty heavy.  The only way I know of dealing with
that burden is through intercessory prayer.  I should be spending a whole
lot more time in prayer than I am and that, in and of itself, is no easy
task.  Yet, I am pretty certain that is what needs to be done for me.  I
often feel the Lord is taking me some place but so far He hasn't shown me
that, or where, that is.  So, this is to say goodbye for now.  I may be back
but my private email is always available because I write to a lot of people
who write to me about what they are facing.  Some of them I pray with on the
phone when required and some just use email.  Additionally, I am working on
a project that takes a lot of hours of my time.  I don't even know if the
Lord is going to use it but it is something that parallels the ministry I am
in.  So, if you need anything, Vicki is always here.  Technically, she now
owns the echurch mailing list anyhow and I am just in a secondary moderator
position so nothing relating to the list will change.  I love each one of
you and though you don't know it, if you needed help in some way, I would be
the first person there.  Remember that your Lord and Savior has a very safe
place for you and that you can walk in His perfect will.  However, in every
one of us, as He still does in me, He wants to heal pain and woundedness
that keeps us spiritually off balance so we cannot do His will and reach
others.  Unfortunately, I take things personally but I finally realized this
is do to my calling as an intercessor and such things have to be turned over
to the Lord for Him to carry as He commanded.  I feel as if there are some
other things the Lord may be wanting me to do and maybe it is time to find
out.  I trust you will continue to enjoy the list and it will be a blessing
to you.  Remember, Vicki is here and she has control of all list commands.
I can't say if I'll be back or not; only the Lord knows that.  There are
some people I need to reach, however, and when God gives you an assignment,
it is really difficult to say no to the one who heals you.  Please don't
reply to this on the list because I am signing off after sending this
message or at least, shortly afterward.  God has blessed you.

Complete In Him.

Phil.
Crazy For Jesus
www.SafePlaceFellowship.com