No one can push our buttons like family, no one can love us as much, or
hurt us more deeply.  That's why I have joked that it would perhaps be
easier to be a missitionary in some foreign country instead of living
the Christian life 24-7 here at home.

We have all acted in ways we shouldn't have in a fit of anger, said
words that would have been better left unsaid, and we have all been hurt
so deeply by the very one who are supposed to love us the most that we
want to run far away from them all.

Wish I had answers, but I am praying for you,
It does seem sometimes that Christmas is hard on individuals and
especially families!
where is the joy, and where is the peace on earth??

Rhonda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, December 22, 2003 11:23 AM
Subject: When Push Comes To Shove


> I would like to think, being the fine Godly Christian man that I am,
tongue
> in cheek, that I would always do the right thing and always make the
right
> decisions when faced with any circumstance that comes my way.  Yet, I
have
> not always made the right decision and I definitely have not always
acted
> Christian when faced with certain situations.  We are in the midst of
a huge
> family mess right now in which accusations have been made that are
totally
> false.  It would appear that no matter how much explanations were
made, the
> misunderstanding wants to stay in place.  For example, last night I
was
> accused of something I not only never thought but never even said.
> Unfortunately for me, one thing I hate more than any other, is being
accused
> falsely and especially of something, as I said, I never even thought,
let
> alone said.  My reaction?  It wasn't anything remotely Christian in
nature;
> I can tell you that much for sure and it wasn't pretty.  The
experience
> Kathy mentioned earlier about something one of her children turned and
used
> against her?  What she described is small potatoes when compared to
what I
> am talking about.  I would explain it all to you, that is, the story
and all
> that has happened, but it would take days to read that email message
if I
> did write it all down.  Plus, it hasn't happened once but dozens of
times.
> Regardless, my point stands.  We can talk Christian all we want and
tote the
> big black Bible to church every Sunday and say Amen in the appropriate
> places and sing at the top of our lungs and shake the preacher's hand
on the
> way out the door but let somebody, your own family for example, accuse
you
> and use you and then say it is all your fault when you have literally
done
> absolutely nothing, then let me know how you reacted to what happened.
You
> may say you know what's right and you may believe it with all your
heart and
> you may fully intend to always do what's right but watch one of your
own
> children accuse and misuse his own mother and then turn around and
blame her
> for the whole thing, and see how calmly your Christian character comes
into
> play.  I have been blind for 39 years.  I have lived totally on my
own,
> without my family's help, for 32 of those 39 years.  I have been
accused of
> everything, during those years, by family members, and others outside
the
> family, of being bitter, of feeling sorry for myself, of being too
narrow
> minded, of being a liar, of being insensitive, of being too sensitive,
of
> being lazy, of being unchristian, and just about anything else you
want to
> toss on to the pile.  That was just my family.  I won't even get into
people
> outside the family and what they have said.  The nature of such
> relationships is such that these things create pain and anger and
sometimes
> fear and a lot of other things.  Being the fine Christians that we
are, we
> bury these things because Godly people do exactly that.  Or so we are
taught
> to live.  Unfortunately, repressing and suppressing these things
doesn't
> help because years later, when another conflict arises, it stirs up
those
> old memories and flames them right back into life again.  I know
because I
> have had this happen to me so many times over the years, there is no
way to
> keep track of them all.  I know one thing for sure; they all hurt.
Have you
> ever tried to get somebody to understand something only to discover
they not
> only did not understand or comprehend but didn't want to in the first
place?
> I explained something three or four times to someone last night who
still
> said he didn't get it.  Why?  Because if he said he understood it, he
would
> have been wrong and he did not want to be wrong.  Christmas is a
wonderful
> family trigger.  If you don't think the Enemy works overtime during
the
> Christmas season, you are in for a surprise.  I would love to say
something
> about this time concerning demonic activities in such things but
people
> already think I am a devil hunter and find a demon under every rock.
So I
> will forego the spiritual darkness behind all such conflicts.
Regardless,
> I'm just pointing out that any situation can press a Christian into
reacting
> and responding in ways they wouldn't normally.  I'm sure glad we serve
a God
> who cuts us a lot of slack because people don't.
>
> Phil.