Thanks for sharing! I appreciate your story.   I will see what I can do
tomorrow, I do like doing things by myself, I don't mind help, but I
feel so much more independent when I can accompolish something on my
own.
I think I will make a reservation for Tuesday with paratransit and go to
the hospital myself,  I have gone to the room several times with
Christa, and if I get lost, there are always people around.
Rhonda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kathy Du Bois" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2003 6:53 PM
Subject: Re: parent question


> Helen, Paul, Matt, Rhonda,
> I have a similar situation that I want to share in hopes that it may
shed
> some light on the thought processes of sighted children who have
parents
> with disabilities. At least this is how I've experienced it myself.
I'm
> not saying that this is true in every case. I've raised four kids
though
> and what I learned from my first experience I applied to the rest and
it
> seems to have helped. I'm not saying that this is everyone's
experience,
> but it is mine and I thought that it might be worth sharing.
> I home schooled our oldest son, Matt, until third grade. I had braille
> materials and he learned print. After he learned to read, I started
> asking him to tell me what we had received in the mail. I thought that
he
> would feel grown up and I liked not having to wait for Greg to get
home
> and tell me. This was way before we even owned a computer, not to
mention
> a scanner, so I really appreciated this convenience. Unfortunately,
this
> really brought home to Matthew that he could do something that I
couldn't
> and he really started to become arogant! How about that? I had tauht
him
> and he turned it against me. We really had to work at getting the
> relationship back in to a proper perspective, with me in authority and
> him in respectful submission. He realized that he could do something
that
> I couldn't and that made him feel superior.
> A car is a much more serious matter than print. Rhonda is really
> vulnerable in this situation. First of all, I can understand her
wanting
> to believe that her daughter really saw yellow, but she is only
fifteen
> and she doesn't have the driving experience to judge just how long a
> yellow light lasts. It is the shortest part of the traffic light
cycle.
> There was certainly something about her driving that caught the
> policeman's attention, but Rhonda doesn't know what. I can't say this
> about another person's child, but I know that my kids would not be
above
> lying to get out of blame in a situation like that. It's human nature,
> but Rhonda really doesn't know. Krista has known intellectually all of
> her life that Rhonda can't drive, just as my son knew that I couldn't
> read print, but when they accomplish something like that it gives them
> the sense of passing us by in ability, and it has to be a real head
rush
> no matter how good the kid is. It just makes sense. Couple that with a
> teenagers natural instinct to fly away and become independent and the
> natural belief that they seem to have that they can handle anything
and
> it seems obvious that there could be some real power struggles coming
> down the road.
> For this reason, I try very hard not to be dependent on my kids. I try
to
> find other ways to have other adults help me whenever possible. I feel
> that, this way, I am showing my kids that I am a capable person who
can
> get around my blindness and they don't have to be tied down because of
it
> either. If they offer to help because they want to work with me that's
> fine, but we don't have that as an expectation on either side.
> I know that this isn't easy, but that's why it's so important to get
> connected.
> Kathy
>
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