I'm not a parent, Rhonda, but I've got to chime in and say that Christa's
threat sounds hollow to me, too.  She wants to drive much too much to give
that up if at all possible and you threatening that if she doesn't help you
she doesn't drive at all is right on track (or should that be road?
Smile.).  Just the fact that she says stuff like that shows she's too young
to be making decisions about meeting boys or driving.

Paul
----- Original Message -----
From: "BD" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2003 12:45 PM
Subject: Re: parent question


> Rhonda,
>
> I know you made the right call there. First off, and you and others may
> disagree, but 15 is too young to be making decisions on meeting boys.
> Hormones rage and what are we to expect if we dangle puppy love, lust and
> etc. in front of them as parents. Anyway besides that, I agree with your
> also not allowing her to drive alone. Besides it not being illegal more
> than likely, and it is a bit different to drive you to see Ben, although
> still illegal more than likely, let alone the risk in if she were to break
> down alone on the highway, too many creeps out there that take advantage
of
> such, and it is just not good idea. Let alone she is 15 and perhaps looks
> it and a cop may well decide to stop for whatever reason and she'd not get
> any license for a while. She obviously doesn't see the benefit for Ben to
> have you at the hospital for company and etc. which is easy to do in  our
> situation. Now as for your question on driving. We are fortunate to have a
> car and a mini-van, both older but hey they work. The agreement with our
> kids once they got their license was the van was first my vehicle and for
> my use, and for driving me where I needed at times, I'd pay for insurance
> and license and gas when it was my use, and they could have use of it
> anytime as long as they put gas in it. It seemed fair to me. As far as if
> we had one car, which might well be the case before long according to our
> mechanic, driving me to places I'd need is no different than helping to
> clean the garage or whatever, and much easier I might add lol, so it is a
> chore for which allowance was given before they both got jobs, and it part
> of their contribution to their room and board and contributing to the
> household. I'd not get into paying them for the driving. It is your car,
> your insurance, your license, your gas and etc.
>
> Also, there are too many creeps out there on the net too so in no way,
> absolutely no way would I let any boy be met in such way. Even if he
> was  OK, what about the next one she meets and the next one and so on, and
> that also encourages relationships of abstract substance. We all have a
> relationship here through email and phone at times, but it is proven and
we
> seek prayer and friendship, but boy meets girl on the net is much
> different. If not too late, I'd encourage Christa to read "I Kissed Dating
> Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. It helped my daughter a great deal and she is
> nearly 19 and not dated as yet. She realizes that she is not ready to be
> serious about doing anything about tit if she met mister right so no point
> in shopping yet. My son not yet read it, but has a friend of girlish
> persuasion lol, in Texas that he had some challenges with, but on his own
> accord knew it wasn't right to get involved yet. They are still friends
and
> one day perhaps they may develop it into something, but they both know not
> right now.
>
> Short story of this book I wrote is, I agree with Ben and you, and I'd not
> allow  such meeting of someone off the net, and discourage it tactfully to
> not continue to chat with him if that is the aim he is looking for. I'd
> also find out if she gave him your address or anything like that. There
are
> too many freaks posing as kids these days and preying on unsuspecting kids
> for their petafilia and etc. Why chance it.
>
> Brad
>
> At 12/21/2003 on Sunday, Rhonda wrote:
> >I have a question, or rather a situation I would like advice about.
> >As y'all know Christa has been driving me to the hospital, to the
> >grocery store, bank and to pay bills and run errands since her dad has
> >been in the hospital.
> >She  chats on the computer with friends, and has met some new ones.  One
> >lives not far from here.  He, yes I said He wants to meet Christa, he is
> >17 and she is 15.  He is about ten miles from here, about the same
> >distance as the hospital. So, Christa wanted todrive to his house and
> >meet him.  His parents are home she says and his brothers.  I said No,
> >no way could she go and meet some strange boy as far as I knew.  That if
> >she were ever to meet him, he would have to come here, or we would have
> >to go with her to a mall or public place.
> >She was angry with me, and said I only let her drive if it was something
> >I wanted to do.
> >Today she didn't want to stay at the hospital so she left me there and
> >came back a couple of hours later.  We are abouteight miles from the
> >hospital.  So I said that she and I would just stay together, and she
> >wouldn't have to drive by herself anymore.
> >
> >I realize that being a parent isn't always popular, and so since I was
> >not letting her do as she pleased, she was angry.  I guess I just resent
> >her implication of "since I have been doing this for you, you
> >should....."
> >Not actually spoken, but the feeling was there.
> >I called Ben and he told her the same thing.
> >So, she hasn't spoken to me all night, well, this too shall pass,
> >but my question is how do you guys handle having a teen driver take you
> >places?  Do you pay them as though it were a job, or is it just
> >something they do occasionally.
> >Just curious as to what y'all think of this.
> >
> >Christa is usually pretty agreeable, but sometimes she can be down right
> >difficult, but that comes I think with being a teenager.
> >
> >Thanks for your ideas!
> >
> >Rhonda