Forget it guys, even if you did try to help it would do no good...

let's face it...  I don't like calling myself a failiar, but admit it:  I
am!  I still can't get the thing in...  i've tried every single possibility.
I even went as far as to feel where the  holes were, and yeah, gave myself a
real nice little jult in the process...  probably serves me right though for
trying to do something I know bevered well, I'll never be able to.  I just
bite at it, let's face the reality.

i can't build pc's on my own, due to my bad fine motor skills, I can't hook
things up to my pc, let along anything else, my strength is horrible, so if
I ever do end up marrying Kristin, and we have a kid, I won't be able to
holdem say past age 2, i mean, let's face it, as far as my fine motor skills
go, i'm totally hopeless!  not even rehab could adapt much for me...  it's
real amazing to me that I can play piano, beautifully, mind you, and can
even type 130 words a minute, maybe even a bit more, last I was tested it
was 1 30.  yet, I can't lift weights, I can't hardly do any workout
exercizes, I can't make my bed, with my fine motor skills, I shouldn't say
this, and if you end up banning me, then, i'm sorry, maybe I deserve it, who
knows, but hell:  I can't even cook!  I'm finding Kristin having to do
everything for me:  If this tells you how week I am, about two nights ago, i
was staying with kristin..  her two year old neece was cutting up bigtime...
Well, among all people, I don't know why, but her mom told me, among all
people, and I don't know why, me, to giver a good tanning if she continued.
Granted, I didn't like that idea at all, i had to do as requested..  Well,
she kept acting up, so, I did, I througher over my lap, well, the first
swat:  she didn't even flench.  i mean, it didn't hurter in the least!  OK
I'm 21 here, she was two:  I was smacking in the end as hard as I could, and
she was just giggling away smiling like crazy...  i mean, that really made
me feel stupid.  To think a two year old could outwit pain from a 21 year
old, nearly 22 in less than a month...  See what I mean?  With my fine motor
skills, whattam I supposed to do!  I find Kristin doing just about all for
me with me doing hardly anything, and granted, that isn't fair to her, which
i've tolder, and also said, we really need to wait, and not look at getting
married now, as it would put too much labor on you:  she insisted to
continue out the plan.  She said it didn't matter to her if she had to do
everything...  Fair or not, she didn't care...  That's good, but I still
don't feel right...

Man, I even prayed about the plug, as I said I would, no good...  period...
and too, i'm so skittish, i don't even wanna touch the thing...

i'd be willing to give this one more try, but I'm not doing anything until
one of you all can walk me through this interactively in extreme detail...
I know with yall not being here seeing what I am doing, it is gonna make it
harder, but at least can we try?  That's all I'm asking...  At least for us
to try!  I really don't wanna be a failiar, but I'm almost at that point...
i just figure, there has got! to be a way...

There's gotta!


Chris.