Kathy,

I have been reading with interest your messages about Chris, his counseling
sessions, schooling, and even his hobbies.  I have been praying for him and
your family.  I trust Eric will be able to reach him in other ways no one
has been able to before.  I am no professional nor do I care to be.  I am,
as my high school teacher once said, an abstract thinker.  I have always
found myself, throughout my entire life, and even as a teenager, thinking
outside the box of traditional thought.  You have touched on a number of
things about Chris I find very revealing.  His construction of the shed is a
secret place of isolation where he alone can exist without the interference
of others.  I had such a place as a teen.  His creative ability is his
personality at its best.  However, in developmental stages of growth when
other problems exist, it, too, becomes an escape mechanism we use to
subtract ourselves from societal responsibilities and relationships.  Such
creativity should be used to bless others and not to gratify one's own
individuality.  Self gratification becomes a dangerous tool to draw us away
from others.  The fear Chris has of the dark is not accidental nor a
demonstration of being under developed.  It is unquestionably tied to an
actual event in his life.  It is very likely the focal point of all he is
going through even now but that in itself would be hard to know unless it
was addressed directly and I can't do that without knowing him.  Perhaps
Eric will uncover this hidden aspect of Chris's life.  His hobby of toy gun
construction is quite fascinating to me.  On the surface, it has little
meaning.  Based upon everything else I have heard you talk about before, it
has great significance to me at any rate.  Again, perhaps Eric will be able
to dig a little deeper on this one.  For now, however, it seems pretty clear
to me he wants to be alone.  His toy gun type construction is also a way of
protecting himself.  It could have, and probably does if it continues, have
a much deeper meaning.  It was thought I was under developed at about his
age as well so I can easily identify with your son in many ways.  Removing
these things from him, or using them as bargaining chips to maintain tighter
control over him, wouldn't be my way of dealing with what he is facing.
Where Chris is right now is a very loudly painted picture of where he is
spiritually in his life.  He is not where you think he is.  These things are
all symptomatic of a spiritual event, or events collectively, which most
likely will never be discovered by traditional psychological means.  All
that you and Greg and Eric see are external characteristics.  Any well
trained counselor can clearly identify such externals, isolate them, and
then bring behavioral techniques into the picture in order to assist in
better control of our behavior.  Unfortunately, such treatment is also
superficial.  It does help but it isn't the ultimate solution.  For
Christians, we know what that is for Chris.  If he comes face to face with
His Creator and discovers the Lord knows where he is right now and He
furthermore can repair and heal and renew the woundedness Chris has
experienced, his life will change dramatically.  In his case, Chris is still
moldable.  In my daughter's case, she can only be influenced by prayer and
external circumstances through prayer.  I'll certainly be praying for Chris
as his friend.

Phil.