I thought the women would enjoy this one.

Advice to Women
>
> If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first
> tearing it apart to remove the sports section
>
> buy a dog.
>
>
> If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply
> over the joy of seeing you
>
> buy a dog.
>
>
> If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of
> him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it
>
> buy a dog.
>
>
> If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as
> long and wherever you want
>
> buy a dog.
>
>
> If you want someone to scare away burglars, without a lethal
> weapon which terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family
> and all the neighbors
>
> buy a dog.
>
>
> If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't give
> a damn about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic
> movies
>
> buy a dog.
>
>
> If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to
> warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores
>
> buy a dog.
>
>
> If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care
> if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, with tits or
> without,  who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of
> listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually
>
> buy a dog.
>
>
> But on the other hand If you want someone who will never come when
> you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over
> the place, walks all over you, runs around all night, only comes home
to
> eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure
> his happiness,
>
> Then my friend
>
> Buy a cat.
>
>
> ( Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental )