Hi Mike,

I'm also not sure what you mean by "intimate relationships", but here's my
story.

I'm 39 with significant quad CP and I recently married an "able-bodied" guy.
I use attendants for most of my personal care. Steve fills in occasionally
for my short night routine when someone can't show or we want a late night
out, with eating dinner and some bathrooming on weekends, and with eating
and/or bathrooming when we are out and about. In turn, I take more
responsibility for laundry, grocery shopping, etc.. Basically, though, I
handle most of my care on my own through my attendants and I (we) have found
this to be important to the health of our relationship. If I rely on him too
much, it exhausts him and I begin to feel like less than an equal partner.
Our whole dynamic changes from normal husband/wife stuff to
care-giver/recipient. Yuk!

As Kat said, good communication is the key to negotiating a relationship
when a disability is involved. It has taken time and open discussion for me
and Steve to figure out when it works for him to assist me and ways I can
contribute also. And, of course, communication is also key in the physical
side of our relationship - with a good doses of creativity and humor thrown
in. ;)  Once a good relationship is established, this, in some ways, is the
easy part.

Pam




> Hi.  I just joined the list. I'm 25 and have C.P.  I use an electric
> wheelchair most of the time.  Also, I'm finishing up my B.A. which will be
> done next May.
>
> I know not everyone might not want to discuss intimate relationships, but
> thought I'd see if anyone on the list has had one and would be willing to
> discuss/answer ?'s about having one.  My Dr. say's it's ok and it's ok and
> I'm healthy and all.  But there's some things left unkown.....help going
to
> restroom, for example.  Anyway, if there's anyone out there who's willing
> that's great--just e-mail me!.  If not, that's ok too.
>
> -Mike
>
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