All POWER TO THEM! It is about time because in this part of the world,
dowry can easily be a life and death business. In Bangladesh, women are
killed every day because they couldn't pay dowry or are behind in payment.
Oh yeah, they have installment payment terms here too for dowry. Some
people are so poor that they can't afford to pay dowry for their children at
the time of marriage so they arrange to pay it by installment. A whole
family can be wiped out, even years later after marriage, because they fell
behind in payment or just could not come up with the money.
"Why do people do this" I hear you ask? Because marriage is the essence of
a woman in Bangladesh, like in most third world countries, but even more so
here. If you are 20 years old and not married, you are pressured from all
sides because you become a big embarrassment to your family and you are made
to feel worthless. Arranged marriages are still 99.9% of the norm, even at
the objection of the bride.
If you haven't figured it out by now, Bangladesh is a predominantly Muslim
country so IT IS A MAN'S WORLD out here. Suicide is rampant for women who
want out of a pending marriage or one they are in already. Fortunately,
things are changing, even though they are changing at a snail's pace. The
younger generation are becoming financially independent so they are starting
to dictate their terms.
Financial independence is the key because education cannot do it. There are
women here with university degrees, at all levels, but their plight is the
same as those without education. It only makes a difference if they have
jobs.
Ann Marie
----- Original Message -----
From: "Aggo Akyea" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2003 4:41 AM
Subject: DELHI GIRLS REBEL OVER DOWRIES -WAY TO GO
> BBC NEWS: Published: 2003/05/19 16:32:24 GMT
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/world/south_asia/3040681.stm
> © BBC MMIII
>
> Delhi girls rebel over dowries
>
> By Sanjeev Srivastava
> BBC correspondent in Delhi
>
> In a rare and bold gesture three middle-class Delhi girls have refused
marriage in the last 10 days.
>
> The girls have also ensured the prospective bridegroom, or some other
member of their in-law's family, has ended up in a city jail for demanding a
dowry.
>
> Insisting on a dowry or gifts in cash and kind is a common practice and
the tradition has continued in the largely male-dominated society.
>
> However, under Indian law, the chauvinistic custom is punishable by a jail
term.
>
> Extravagant
>
> The credit for this new found boldness in Indian women goes to a
21-year-old software engineer, Nisha Sharma, who has now become a kind of a
role-model for other girls.
>
> Nisha was to get married earlier this month but with the groom's family
making last-minute extravagant dowry demands she not only cancelled the
marriage, but even called the police and had the bridegroom arrested.
>
> Indian women are feeling more empowered than ever before
>
> But the extraordinary events continued.
>
> Normally, if a marriage is cancelled for any reason - especially when the
circumstances are as dramatic as the bridegroom's party being sent away - it
is always the bride's family which faces ridicule and is looked down upon.
>
> To many Indians it is regarded as the surest way to lose family honour.
>
> But in Nisha's case she became a celebrity overnight and an icon for many
young Indians.
>
> She has been widely reported in the national press and is being described
as the modern and bold face of Indian women.
>
> Social organisations have bestowed awards on her and media opinion polls
and online surveys have shown overwhelming support for her.
>
> In the last four days, Nisha's example has been followed by two other
women, both of whom have turned their back on bridegrooms demanding dowry.
>
> While it may still be premature to say these few incidents - so far
confined to the national capital - signal a revolutionary shift in social
attitudes, it is clear that things are changing.
>
> Indian women are feeling more empowered than ever before.
>
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