While I am sensitive to allergies, if my six year old son had been singled 
out like that he would have been embarrassed and heartbroken... and that 
would have made me angry.

I agree that the privacy policy seems silly... why would they WANT it to 
be a secret in the first place?! My daughter is allergic to dairy, peanuts 
and tree nuts and I have made stickers (from address labels) that I put on 
her whenever I feel it is appropriate (like at a party) that say "No dairy 
or nuts please". Personally I feel that the burden is on me to educate 
myself, her caregivers and to some degree her (my making her aware of her 
allergies and to ask the person offering the food to her what it 
contains). I do allow other children in the preschool that she attends to 
eat dairy and peanuts (The director asked me if I wanted them banned and I 
said I did not feel it was necessary or fair on the other parents/children 
as long as the teachers took appropriate precautions around my daughter).

I would consider asking the parent of "the child" (in an anonymous note if 
necessary) for snack suggestions.

Good luck!
~Suzie